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unless his friend explicitly tells him he can tell it over? Because it says, #
“And Hashem spoke to Moshe, ‘saying.’” Ancient writings tell us that a
person who reveals a secret will return to the world as a mute.
Moreover, the poskim tell us that one who opens a sealed letter
addressed to another should be excommunicated, according to the
decree of Rabbenu Gershom. It also says in the Chafetz Chaim
(Hilchos Rechilus, Principle 8:5): A person is obligated to hide that
which was revealed to him by his friend in a secret manner… because
revealing a secret causes harm to its owner… and by doing so, he is
not following the path of the modest and he is deceiving the one who
told him the secret.
Despite this, if a person reveals a secret to a physician, such as
the fact that he had a nervous breakdown, and he asks the physician
not to tell his secret to anyone in the world, the situation may call
for revealing the secret. For example, if the physician knows that the 20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 5 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:24 | SR:-- | Magenta
patient is about to marry a woman who is liable to be hurt by this #20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 5 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:24 | SR:-- | Yellow 20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 5 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:24 | SR:-- | Black 20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 5 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:24 | SR:-- |
fact, the physician is obligated to reveal it to the woman. The patient,
in this case, is sinning by deceiving the woman; he has no right to lie
to her. Therefore, the physician must heed the commandment “Do
not stand idly by the blood of your fellowman,” (Vayikra 19:16) which
indicates that he must prevent this woman from harm. He should
not consider the prohibition of revealing a secret, since in this case
the secret is against the halacha, as it is forbidden for the patient to
hide his illness.
But in our case, the patient is not sinning against the family. He has
some proper justifications for not wanting to reveal to them that his
death is imminent. As explained in the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah
#338:1), we do not tell the patient to say viddui in front of women
and children, lest they cry and break his heart. In other words, it is
prohibited to tell women and minors things that will cause them to
weep before the patient.
Even if the social worker finds out that the patient’s days are num-
bered from a third party, and the social worker hears that the patient
doesn’t want his wife to know, the social worker is obligated to honor
the patient’s will. This is because one is prohibited to reveal a secret

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