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fare on the High Holidays if he hears of his daughter’s disease. The
daughter would want her father to know of her condition, and I think
that this will ease her pain. What should we do?

1 AnsweR

If the knowledge is liable to affect the father to the point that he will
not be able to fast on Yom Kippur and his health will deteriorate, it is
clearly prohibited to tell him about his daughter’s illness. One must
do everything to ensure that he does not find out.

If G-d forbid, there is bad news about his daughter, it is enough to
address it in its time. One should not tell him bad news in advance
when his life will be endangered by it. (It is said that the great Rav
Chaim Zelibinsky zt”l, was stricken with a deathly disease and be-
came extremely thin. He wore two suits, one on top of the other, to
hide his sickness from his ill father.)

However, if the father’s condition is not very serious, one should
probably tell him. It says in the Torah (Bereishis 32:1) that “Lavan
got up in the morning and he kissed his sons and daughters and he
blessed them.” The Seforno says, in the name of the Sages, “Let not the
blessing of a simpleton be light in your eyes” (Tractate Megillah 15a).
The Torah refers to Lavan’s blessing to his daughters to teach that
a father’s wholehearted blessing to his children is worthy of coming
true. As it says, “So that my soul bless you” (Bereishis 27:4).

The prophet Elisha also said (Melachim 2 4:27): “And Hashem
has hidden this from me.” This implies that the concealment of the
Shunamite woman’s son’s illness was to his detriment. [The child is
said to be the prophet Chavakuk, as explained in Zohar (in the In-
troduction, Vol. 1, p. 7). And in Pirkei D’Rebbi Eliezer (33, in the Bi’ur
Radal) it is implied that he was the prophet Oded.] Thus we should
be careful not to hide the illness from the father unless the knowledge
will endanger him.

Telling his Wife that His Days Are Numbered 2 125