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local Tuesday 19 July 2022

Ema Koolman: A life in constant transition

Life for Ema is in constant when her body began to School Examen (SE; school
transition. The 20 year develop. “I always thought exams) and I remember
old just graduated VWO I was gay, but wow, when I was so tired. But when
(advanced high school) my body started changing, lockdown came around, I
and is moving to the I didn’t like it.” felt so relieved. I could go
Netherlands to continue on in the room and isolate.”
her way. Not to study, but to The realization that she In that space, Ema
work and live as a volunteer feels more like a female discovered that she could
at ‘t Bak Atelier, a program didn’t result in conflict at find within herself the hability
of the European Solidarity school. Any challenge to study, without much
Corps so she can reflect that Ema could confront support from teachers.
on her future, because was more on the school The pandemic period
although Ema is ready to level, regarding studying. gave her a booster so she
spread her wings, she’s not Her time at MAVO wasn’t could study and receive
sure where she wants to fly. very attractive. Her basic her HAVO diploma. “At a
school didn’t see the need certain point I recognized
The reason why Ema to let Ema do the test for that I can learn really well
wants a break, that many Colegio Arubano (HAVO on my own, without a
know as a gap year, and VWO), and you could teacher, more efficiently.”
before continuing her almost say that the school’s
studies is not a common projection was right as Ema Colegio Arubano
story. Ema, who wasn’t wasn’t the student with the After that came the
an exceptional student in best results. question what comes next.
MAVO [lower secondary Now she realizes that she Her intentions were to go
education] managed to was just bored in class. abroad to study, but she
complete HAVO [higher Practically she didn’t find a didn’t know where. In any
secondary education] and challenge in tests. case, she didn’t want to
VWO [highest secondary attend a school in Dutch
education] consecutively, After finishing MAVO, language. “I wanted to do
thanks to the fact that she went to Colegio San a study in English. But the
she finally recognized her Nicolas, now Colegio study that I wanted to do, HAVO is different, because final exam. Even so, Ema
strength to study which Nigel Matthew. It wasn’t Politics and Economics in everyone helped each succeeded, thanks to her
was within herself. As such, easy because one way Utrecht, required VWO.” other and we received ability to focus on what she
it was as if the Covid-19 or another, Ema couldn’t On top of it, Ema wants to guidance. But from HAVO needs to do.
pandemic was a sort find the rhythm to follow start her hormone therapy to VWO it was a different
of blessing in disguise lessons. It wasn’t until the for her transition process experience. Even though A dedicated mother
for her, because it was pandemic hit, and Aruba in Aruba. So she decided a con-rector told her The person who helped
during lockdown that Ema went in lockdown, that to stay in Aruba, start her ‘here you need to learn her the most in finishing her
realized that studying on ironically – even though therapy, and with the to be independent’, Ema studies was her mom, who
her own was much more she didn’t have the ease confidence that VWO will believes that Colegio despite their precarious
effective than attending at home – Ema found the give her more opportunities can do more to help new financial situation, made
class in person. opportunity to continue to choose a study in English students to better assimilate the sacrifice to make sure
studying and learning later on. into the school, to avoid her daughter could finish
Not liking her body on her own, in an empty unnecessary problems. Colegio Arubano. Even
Ema, who was born room in her grandparents’ But this time she did feel though her mom still has
Emanuel Benjamin Albert home. She couldn’t live the impact of the Covid-19 Hormones difficulty accepting that
Koolman, is transgender. there because the roof was measures. The education What made the experience Ema is transexual, Ema
From a young age she felt broken, but the room was system was something worse was that it was at that knows she has a mom who
different and she thought good and even had air that Ema was not used to. moment that she started loves her, who taught her
she was homosexual, gay. conditioning. She would see the other her hormone treatment. the value of volunteering
The realization that she students open their books But in order to receive the from a young age, and
identifies as feminine came “At Colegio San Nicolas and work, ‘but I was lost, treatment she had to lose that it is precisely that habit
during her adolescence, there is a fourth period of sitting there like a fool’. weight. In other words, Ema of helping others that will
It turns out that Ema lost was at a new school, didn’t become her stepping stone
various possibilities to understand the system, had for the future. “Who knows?
communicate with her to lose weight and take Maybe after a year in the
mentor and other teachers hormones. “It was horror, Netherlands I can decide
because of the system of with all those emotions. to also study in Costa Rica”,
communication through When I get stressed I eat. Ema says, laughing.
e-mail. She wasn’t aware Imagine then, having stress,
of the ‘school gids’ (school not being able to eat, and On the other hand, one of
guide) which was on the I started having thoughts of the goals of ‘t Bak Atelier
school’s website. “Now I suicide. It is God’s miracle is to proved the youth with
find it funny, but at that that I managed to finish the opportunity to better
time I was lost.” VWO”, Ema says with a their Dutch. Who knows
laugh. if Ema will transition into
And initially no one really Now she laughs, but at the Dutch society, surely
pointed her in the right that moment she caught because now she will have
direction. “I consider this the attention of a social her own room, something
like it’s as if they expect us worker, because she was she has never experienced.
to be independent. The in a very serious emotional Another transition to add to
experience from MAVO to condition, even before her the list.q