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does that the other sees as degrading or disrespectful — those are relationship “habits.”
For forgiveness to be more than just a placeholder in a circular pattern of behavior that never gets resolved, there must be commitment to change — a re-dedication to be more sensitive to the habits that disrupt a harmonious and deepening relationship.
Empathy and Cross Complaining
These kinds of bad relationship habits can be broken, and relationships can be repaired and maintained by two important intentions:
1. The intention to have more empathy.
2. The intention to engage in a conversation about disappointment by focusing on yourself and not answering a complaint about you with a complaint about your partner.
Empathy
Empathy is the act of being able to feel and understand what someone else is thinking and feeling from their point of view.
“I can understand why you got so upset when I used your favorite sweatshirt to wash my car. That was very selKish of me and I am sorry.”
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 114
