Page 17 - SILFlip

show you that when those chemicals start pumping, they can be overwhelming. In other cases, people have to walk a long way before they fall. No matter. I am trying to say that the chemical process of falling in love happens at least in part, in a complex biological way. To make matters even more complicated, our psychology sometimes operates against our biology; and sometimes it supercharges the process and drives us further into the intoxication of new love.
Everything that falls hits something after the plunge. What we hit after falling in love is...reality, also referred to by me as “real love.” The complex combination of mind-body events which happen when we fall in love eventually gives way to the reality that the person you fell in love with is imperfect and to various degrees, disappointing. They are not the ideal people our chemicals made us fall in love with. They are the people they really are. The chapter of every love relationship that starts with the realization that the person you fell in love with is not necessarily the person they are is an important milestone in every love relationship. It’s the end of the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship—but it is also the beginning of real partnership and commitment. Just because I will be referring to this point of a relationship for a good part of what I will be speaking about next, I am going to call this transition “the turning point.” Sometimes this transition creeps into our awareness during something we might call “Our First Fight.” The hirst time our partner really disappoints us and engages us — that is startling and disappointing.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 17