Page 21 - SILFlip

The Pebble in the Shoe
Annoying habits, lack of expressed gratitude, taking your partner for grated, concentrating more on what you are getting as opposed to what you are giving are like “having a pebble in your (relationship) shoe.” Everyone has had the experience of getting a pebble in their shoe and feeling the annoying discomfort of trying to walk with it. Even a few steps can be painful but if you had to walk a mile with a pebble in your shoe it would be intolerable and unbearable. In love relationships, after people see more of the “real partner” and less of the “ideal partner” (after the “turning point”) the “pebbles” are your partner’s imperfections and the annoyances they cause.
Over time, people lose patience with the imperfections of their partners, which, in turn, sows seeds of resentment and frustration. That frustration builds over time and hills an imaginary container where we store disappointment over our partners’ actions (or lack of action). When that container hills to the top it eventually spills over into the kind of bickering I just gave an example of.
Now, remember a moment ago I said I was going to give you my opinion on what people have to do to make relationships last. You might be thinking that if people didn’t speak to one another like this, or if they were more tolerant of one another, their relationships would probably have some potential to be long lasting — and you would be correct. If people could avoid insulting one another and were always considerate, yeah, they could have a happy partnership
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 21