Page 22 - SILFlip

for a long time—except for one thing: people are imperfect and they screw up, and are not always willing to see how imperfect they are.
Sticking with our example, there are couples who don’t hight like this because even after becoming an “old couple,” they might be less prone to this type of highting—they might bicker more politely. Then there are couples who hight much worse than this (and by “much worse” highting I am not talking about physical or emotional abuse because that is a different matter entirely). There are couples where this type of bickering might degrade into nastier name calling, worse insults, the silent treatment and grudge holding. If you are wondering whether this constitutes abuse — it can, especially if it happens a lot or becomes habitual or there is evidence that shows it is not going to change.
The part of the hight where people “dig in” and demand acknowledgement that they are “right” and the other person is inconsiderate requires a departure from the “relationship as us.” It is more about “the injury or insult to me.” This is what ALL relationships, even the best ones experience from time to time — at every level of functioning. Acting in one’s own interests, acting selhishly and overlooking the task of focusing on your partner is a natural tendency. But just because it is “natural” doesn’t make it less of a threat to the longevity of the relationship.
This does not mean that all relationships are doomed and it does not mean that you should neglect your own needs and be a slave to your partner’s natural selhishness. It means something quite simple:
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 22