Page 23 - SILFlip

If you are willing to put time and effort into maintaining your partner’s integrity within the relationship; and they are willing to do the same for you, that collaborative dedication, that mutual desire to fortify your partner’s value and worth creates a relationship that is transformative. That mutuality is what creates lasting love, even if partners fail from time to time.
But here’s the tricky part — it’s not easy. I only said the principle was simple and straightforward. It’s difhicult because when partners do not focus their intent on this fortihication process, when they don’t actively think about it, they tend to not practice it. They do not make it a habit. And when they do not make it a habit, the natural tendency to be self-oriented becomes a barrier to the transformative process I mentioned a moment ago.
In times of conhlict or disagreement the tendency to want to be “right” focuses your intention on “self-preservation,” the avoidance of injury, as opposed to preserving your partner and receiving nurturance it in return. When people divide and go to their “highting corners” there is a break in that collaborative, transformative process. Fortunately, the process of forgiveness can often put the partnership back on track, but forgiveness always battles resentment. Forgiveness is an essential aspect of maintaining a relationship, but there has to be something more that maintains it. The work that goes into the building up of your partner and your partner building you up is also essential.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 23