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because it does not adequately address what happens when people fail; and instead of fortifying the relationship with their actions and intentions, they hurt the relationship with imperfection, selhishness and insensitivity.
I referred to “the process” of the relationship in my imperfect statement above. Let me explain that and them get back on track with forgiveness.
Content versus Process
Every human interaction that aims to communicate something to another human being has two channels — a content and a process. The content is the literal meaning of what is transpiring. The process is what is happening between the individuals—it’s what is REALLY going on. The process is the underlying agenda of the conversation. Process is a representation of what that content is seeking to achieve on a relational level. I am trying to say the same thing in different ways hoping that you will latch on to what the meaning of process is. Relationship process doesn’t always rely on words. It can be experienced by a look or gesture. For example, when a partner tries to hold another partner’s hand and the hand is shaken away or rejected there is a lot going on there without a word being spoken.
I teach about “content” and “process” quite a bit in many of my books, seminars and courses, and when I do, I talk about “The Incident of the Israeli Chicken Salad,” which I have also decided was one of the most psychologically traumatic experiences of my life. It
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 90