Page 102 - The Intentional Parent

The first statement is aggressive. Also, in order for this kind of communication to work, it must inspire fear and anxiety every time you use it. Also, in order for aggressive parenting communication and behavior to work consistently, you have to escalate that behavior because kids tend to accommodate to what their parents say and do. So, unless you think its a good idea to threaten military action against your kids, eventually you will run out of threats and when your child finds out you’ve got nothing to back up your harsh words with, they will assume the leadership position.
Summary
Less is more is the rule of thumb when it comes to talking to children about their behavior. Children have limited attention spans, generally do not like being lectured to and have lots of imagination to play around with while pushing your interrogations and lectures into the background of their psychological landscape.
Tell your children what to do. Don’t ask them. Consistent with the other advice I have given you, do not prioritize being their friend or their equal.
You will never have to resort to aggressive threats or verbal put downs, if you can approach them assertively with effective, efficient communications.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 102