Page 103 - The Intentional Parent

Chapter Ten Ignore A Behavior
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time to dedicate to being persistent and nagging.
We all want to ignore our kids from time to time, and from time to time it is best to ignore certain kinds of behavior: “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,” with the accompanying pokes, prods and face grabs, can be utterly tormenting when parents have pressing issues to attend to. To make matters worse, when your best intentions are to ignore behavior and you let yourself get worn down, you can easily encourage more of the type of behavior you are trying to stop or prevent -- by giving in just to get some relief.
By not properly ignoring a child’s behavior you unwittingly teach your child to absorb “the cost of doing business.” If you ignore the whining, begging, negotiating, tantrums and are doing a great job at it, but ultimately give in, you are teaching your child that whining, begging, negotiating and tantrums are what is required to turn a “no” into a “yes.”
So, when parents tell me that when they ignore a child’s annoying behavior, and it doesn’t work, I put on my bullet proof vest and tell them it’s often their fault. In order to be able to ignore a child’s behavior successfully enough to get it to stop, your will must be stronger than theirs, and that is a very tall order with some kids. Ignoring a child’s annoying behavior is a zen-like dedication. One of the reasons for this is that there is a “second prize” that children
gnoring behavior is much more difficult than it sounds, because children do not have mortgages, car payments and jobs to worry about. Therefore they have a lot more
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 103