Page 110 - The Intentional Parent

Chapter Eleven Evaluating Outcomes
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performance as a parent is to think about that performance and whether or not it matches your self imposed expectations. Human beings can have a very difficult time doing that. People’s tendencies run from being overly critical of themselves, (i.e. “I will never be the parent I want to be.”) to being blissfully unaware of the interplay between their behavior and the behavior of their children. So how do you know if you are being too self critical or not critical enough. Well, the first thing that should clue you in is what other people are telling you about your kids.
If parents, teachers and other significant people are praising the behavior of your kids, then chances are you are doing a good job. If, on the other hand people are telling you about incidences your kids are having in school, in social settings, and in places where respect for authority is a priority, then you simply have to ask yourself if (1) your child’s temperament is so difficult that outside coaching from a behavioral expert is something you should consider, or (2) whether you are putting enough emphasis on being an effective leader.
One of the reasons why I have tried to create a structured approach to parenting is to help people evaluate their performance. Here are eight simple questions you might want to ask yourself (all connected to concepts in this book/program) to determine whether you are hitting your leadership stride?
started you off on this journey emphasizing the importance of “thinking about thinking,” and that is a point we come back to here. The first step in evaluating your
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 110