Page 112 - The Intentional Parent

intention to lead better, better, better and better. Put yourself in that circle and make lots of laps. Simple advice to give but difficult to follow, but I have given you a system.
“Unconditional” Love
The biggest challenge I face when trying to teach parents how to become better family leaders is their interpretation that they must be stern and rigid instead of loving and warm. Unconditional love and non contingent love are two very different concepts.
Non contingent love means loving without rules and limitations. Hugs, kisses, attention and reward are available in every circumstance, no matter what. This kind of approach leads to children growing up entitled, demanding and selfish.
Unconditional love means that you are accepting of your children’s strengths and weaknesses, willing to forgive mistakes without damaging a child’s self esteem, but letting your child know that not all behavior is acceptable.
Unconditional love that is shown by a parent’s unwillingness to let a child face the world unprepared to understand that bad behavior creates obstacles to success in life, is damaging. When you love a child by making excuses for them, rewarding bad behavior, approaching them like an equal (i.e. a friend), you are not providing a very accurate example of how the world operates.
Be loving and demonstrative. Don’t deprive yourself of hugs, kisses and snuggles for the short time they are available. Cherish your special time. Tell you kids you love them. All of this provides a healthy foundation for emotional security and best of all, it
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