Page 128 - The Intentional Parent

NIGH TMARES
My four-year-old has been waking up complaining of a "man" that she sees when she sleeps. Is this normal?
As a matter of fact, this is quite normal. Children first begin reporting their dreams at about three years old. It can be very confusing for a number of reasons. Children begin tuning into their imaginations around three years of age. They begin fantasy play at this time and may even conjure up an imaginary friend, pet, or whole new identity. As they pass through three and four years of age, they begin to learn to distinguish fantasy from reality, but until they are able to do so, it can be scary. This is truly the age where things "go bump in the night." With regard to dreams, animals are usually the first inhabitants of children's dreams, followed six months to a year later by people. Because kids are egocentric, or self-centered, they don't understand that you don't experience the same things at night that they do. If your child has a dream in which she saw a person, she naturally assumes you saw that person, too. Allow your child the opportunity to describe what she saw, and explain to her that it was only a dream. Begin helping her understand what a dream is by telling her, "You see, it was only a dream because when you woke up, that man was gone." In your everyday speech you will begin using words like imagination, and make-believe so that dreams will be just another example of these things.
BEDWETTING
My eight-year-old still wets the bed. I have been told this is a sign of emotional disturbance. Is this true?
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 128