Page 138 - The Intentional Parent

FOOD AS A REWARD
I have heard that it is not a good idea to reward children for good behavior by using food as an incentive. How do you feel about this?
I am mostly in agreement with this, but I do tend to follow the rule, "Everything in moderation, including moderation." It is not a good idea to constantly associate success or good behavior with food. On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with a parent taking a child out for an ice cream cone or (heaven forbid!) an ice cream sundae on a very special occasion, say to celebrate that he hit the winning home run at his Little League game. I am not in favor of popping a handful of M&Ms into a kid's mouth every time he does something noteworthy. Parents need to understand that some of the most powerful motivators around are praise, kind words, hugs, and kisses (not the chocolate kind). Not only do they work as well as or better than food, they fatten only the soul, not the tummy.
TOILET TRAINING CONCERNS
Our two-year-old daughter is able to tell us when she has to urinate, but she still has bowel movements in a diaper. Should we be concerned about her toilet training?
Absolutely not. The majority of kids aren't ready to be toilet trained until some time near the third year. This is a function of physical development more than anything else. The nerve that controls the sphincter muscle, which is responsible for bowel movement control, has not yet fully developed until some time close to the third year. Therefore, children under age three are
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 138