Page 179 - The Intentional Parent

with child support and maintenance payments. Explore your recourse with your attorney.
WHEN KIDS DON’T WANT VISITATION
Lately, when it is time for my seven-year-old son to visit his father, he complains and says he doesn't want to go. Should I force him to go on a visitation even when he doesn't want to go?
First you must try to find out why he doesn't want to go on his visits. For many children, the stress associated with changing residences for a weekend is what they are reacting to. Along these lines, if children sense there is conflict between the parents, they may be afraid to go on visitation for fear that it will create more problems than already exist.
Children may refuse to go to visitation because of a real fear that the parent they are leaving will not be there when they come back. They may also refuse visitation if something makes them uncomfortable in the other residence. A very common reason children refuse visitation is they might not care for or might be jealous of a boyfriend or girlfriend or a stepmother or stepfather at the noncustodial residence. I always advise divorced parents to keep their children very clear of people they are dating until they are certain there will be a commitment (see the next question for the reason why). If your child won't tell you why he doesn't want to go on a visit, please consult a child behavior specialist who has specific experience working with divorced couples and their children. It might be you who is sending signals to the child to stay home.
It is always best when parents encourage their children to visit
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 179