Page 192 - The Intentional Parent

My twelve-year-old son is going through puberty. When 1 was in his room the other morning I noticed that he was trying to cover up a wet spot on his sheet that was obviously the result of a nocturnal emission. I am wondering how to start off a father-son chat about the experiences he is going through. What's the best way to do it?
The best way to do it is by sitting him down and telling him that you are very proud to notice that he looks like he's growing up. Since you have already gone through the experience yourself, that qualifies you as an expert and as someone who can make your son's recent life make a whole lot more sense. Begin by asking him if he knows that puberty is a time in a boy's life that signals his body is changing. You can tell him that puberty encompasses a lot of changes: changes in his voice, because his vocal cords are thickening; in the size and thickness of his muscles; in the length of his penis; and in the appearance of hair on his face, arms, legs, and pubic areas.
You might want to share your recollections of life at his age, and in particular you might want to mention what a wet dream is. If you are at a loss as to how to explain it, simply say that as your reproductive system develops, this is your body's way of letting you know that it is up and running.
By the way, while it is commonly assumed that nocturnal emissions or wet dreams occur in response to erotic dreams, this usually isn't true. In fact, the majority of nocturnal emissions do not correspond to erotic dreams.
MASTURBATION
I was very embarrassed to walk into my son's room while he
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 192