Page 193 - The Intentional Parent

was masturbating. I made believe I didn't notice, and I casually turned around and walked out. I'd like to reassure him, as his Dad, that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. On the other hand, I don't want him to be embarrassed by the fact that I noticed. What, if anything, should I say to him?
This one is tougher than it seems. I understand that you are in a bit of a bind. On the one hand, if you say nothing, the situation will probably just blow over, and he will be grateful that you didn't mention it. The problem with this approach is that it might convey to him that you let him off the hook for doing something that is shameful and wrong. On the other hand, you could have a conversation with him about it, and in that conversation communicate to him that what he was doing was perfectly normal. A lot would depend on what kind of relationship you have had with your son in the past. It's really during times like this that you can appreciate the value of having developed an open and honest relationship with your kids.
Another strategy would be to wait a couple of days, un-
til any anxiety or embarrassment has subsided, and have a general talk about some of the things that go on during this time of life. You might want to share some of the experiences you had growing up, and talk mostly about yourself. This way you could still discuss sensitive topics like masturbation without actually blurting out that you saw him.
DATING
My son is in the fifth grade and wants to go on a date. I was sure this was much too early for him to start dating until I overheard his friends talking about going to the movies and going for pizza
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 193