Page 210 - The Intentional Parent

don't be too quick to offer pat advice or to dismiss them as being dramatic (that's the worst thing you could do). Instead, acknowledge that you have some of those same worries sometimes. Continue by saying that when you go through those times, you have to actually force yourself to think good thoughts. Thinking negative thoughts all the time just makes things get worse and worse. See if your child can come up with positive thoughts to "battle" some of the negative thoughts. One positive thought can surely be "I have a mother and father who love me." If the focus of the thoughts is on a fear that Mom or Dad will die, reassure her that although there are never any guarantees in life, you are very positive that you will be around for a long time. See if you can spend just a little more quality time with your child to reestablish a sense of stability and permanence in her life. That should be enough to make the difficult time pass.
Be aware that some children are quite somber and pessimistic by nature. These kids have to be actively taught to look for the bright side of things.
SELF DIRECTED ANGER
The other day, my eight-year-old son was totally out of control, so I sent him up to his room for a time out. After he was done with his time out, he was very mopey. When I asked him what was wrong, he started saying things like, "I'm so stupid, I don't even deserve a spot on this planet," and "I wish I could die. I hate myself, and I hate everything in this house. I'd like to take a knife and chop my head off." This kind of talk frightened me so much I didn't know what to do. Is there really any danger of my son killing himself?
That's hard to say without more information. Is he sad and mopey most of the time? Does he frequently talk about hurting himself?
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 210