Page 68 - The Intentional Parent

In this section the “broad stroke” I am prioritizing is teaching children the relationship between behavior and outcome. This is important at every developmental age and station in a child’s life.
Infants come “pre-programmed” to experience the cause and effect nature of their interactions between themselves and the surrounding environment. They “connect” their actions with the consequences of their actions, favoring the successful connections and avoiding repetition of the unsuccessful ones. The natural behavior of infants is circular and repetitive and we have all watched infants trying to get their hand or foot into their mouths, shake a rattle, and otherwise grapple with the demands of their environment. They do not do it, “just once,” they do it over and over again, “stamping” the behavior into their developing nervous systems.
That might work within the safety and controlled nature of the home environment (and even that can be a challenge when we realize how important it is to “baby-proof”), but as our options for interacting with the environment expand, so does the range of actions and potential consequences. As children become more psychologically and intellectually complex, the consequences of their actions (lying, cheating, selfishness, manipulative behavior) also become much more complex, because the social consequences of behavior become more complex.
Explorations into the world of cause and effect form the foundations for learning good judgement which, in turn gives us the opportunity to learn about social success and failure. While consequences for poor judgement can be harsh in the “real world,” parents need to pay close attention to how to deliver consequences in the “family world.”
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 68