Page 69 - The Intentional Parent

It is always better for parents to work and act on the positive side of behavior and we will be doing that in the next chapter, but when we talk about imposing consequences we are usually referring to the interactions parents have with children about the negative aspects of their children’s behavior.
Here is a list that covers most of the major “behavioral transgressions” children test their parents leadership with:
• active opposition
• passive opposition
• dishonesty
• overindulgence
• risk taking
• failure to prepare (as in not getting ready, not doing homework,
not studying, etc.)
• transgressions of civility
• opportunism
• laziness
Before we go any further, let me point out that all of these misbehaviors are completely normal ways that kids test their parents authority. Breakdowns in leadership happen when children’s stubborn temperaments are far outside the normal range, and when the limits of a parent’s tolerance are exceeded, and what I mean by that is when a parent’s patience is exhausted, which is normal and which happens (a lot) with every parent and child.
Parental patience is very much like a child’s tendency to be oppositional. Parents have different capacities to be patient. So,
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 69