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respect them. reliant on other people and that other
people can be comfortable being reli-
Reliability. You do what you say and ant on you.
you say what you do. This means that
you don’t overcommit to things and say Generosity. When things go wrong,
you will do more than you can do and
then back out. Instead, you are realis- part of someone else. In other words,
if something happens that upsets you,
through with your promises. you approach the other person with

Accountability. You don’t backchannel
and blame others. Instead, you speak
to people directly when you feel that How does BRAVING connect to shame?
are in the wrong and you freely admit
when you feel like you’ve done some- According to Brown, shame is the in-
thing wrong. tensely painful feeling or experience
-
Vault. This is a big one! You don’t use fore unworthy of acceptance and be-
other people’s stories to connect with
others. In other words, you don’t use -
gossip to connect with good friends you cuses on what we’ve done (as opposed
also don’t use your good friends’ sto- to what we would have liked to have
ries as gossip. You connect personally done), shame focuses on who we are.
and only tell your own stories. You might feel guilty that you cheated
on your diet, but you feel shame if you
Integrity. And, this is a tough one! You experience yourself as a cheater. Hu-
choose what’s right over what’s fun,
fast, and easy. Today’s culture places a confused with shame. When you are
great emphasis on the fun, the fast, and
the easy. Instead, you choose what is you took, you feel humiliated if you be-
right. lieve that the person who rebuked you
was inappropriate. Conversely, you feel
Non-Judgment. You can ask for help ashamed if you believe that that you
and other people can ask you for help deserve that rebuke.
without being judged. This means that