Page 2 - Edwards AFB Desert Wings 7-31-15
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Desert Wings Commentary July 31, 2015
2 www.aerotechnews.com/edwardsafb facebook.com/EdwardsDesertWings
Separated but not alone
by Senior Airman Lauren-Taylor Levin 6KRUWO\DIWHUP\H[SODQDWLRQVKHQRWL¿HGPHWKDWP\VRQ exercise to try.
Mountain Home AFB, Idaho wasn’t acting like himself either. I was so consumed with my This exercise helps to lead your child to learn, think and
own problems I didn’t even notice how my family was doing.
As the dawn broke out over the mountains, I woke up to take responsibility for their actions. Doing this gives the mes-
the sun peeping through my window. The caregiver said, “Your son is starting to become an- sage that your authority is not negotiable before you act with
tisocial, not eating as much food and becoming a bully at a consequence. This consequence doesn’t necessarily have to
Once I got up I went straight to the kitchen to make my daycare.” be a big thing. It can simply be redirecting your child toward
family breakfast yet in the back of my mind, all I could think doing something else, like assisting you with putting items
about was, “how am I going to manage taking care of my I felt as if I was failing as a mother and I had to get help, away or reading a book with them.
children, dogs and work life.” not only for my son, but myself as well. The only problem
is I had no idea where to start. He explained that the more I get involved with my chil-
Just the thought of knowing I’ll have twice the amount of dren’s life, the better. I should replace that sense of separa-
things to do at home all while balancing my military work, The caregiver gave me a pamphlet about dealing with tion with love and care, helping to distract that feeling of
made my heart sink a bit. separation and inside was a card. I called to make an ap- loneliness.
pointment to talk to the counselor about how I could help my
Growing up as a military child myself, I knew separation son and myself through this time of separation. 2QFHZH¿QLVKHGGLVFXVVLQJKRZ,FRXOGKHOSP\FKLOGUHQ
could be extremely hard and hit at any time. Looking back, the counselor asked, “how are you handling all this?”
I now know how alone my mother felt whenever my father As I met with the counselor, we discussed my everyday
went on deployments or TDY. It seems like an eternity wait- URXWLQH1RWRQO\GLG,¿QGRXW,ZDVQ¶WIDLOLQJDVDPRWKHU Just as I was going to start talking my face turned bright
ing for your loved one to return home so you aren’t carrying but I felt some kind of comfort. red because I knew everything I was carrying on my shoul-
all the weight on your shoulders. GHUVZDV¿QDOO\DERXWWREHOLIWHGRIIRIPH,EHJDQWRGLV-
The counselor explained that regardless of a child’s age, cuss my struggles of trying to make sure everything was the
There are dozens of base agencies to make these separa- they can tell when a family member is gone or stressed. Al- same as it was before my husband left. I was so focused on
tions easier, but I didn’t realize it yet. though you may think it won’t rub off on them, it does. trying to make sure everything was perfect I became over-
whelmed and stressed, not only myself, but my kids too.
After just three days of being with my children and trying As we continued our conversation he recommended I try
to balance everything I felt like the world was crashing down some exercises with my children and see their reactions to it. He later explained that no matter how much I want things
RQPH,WZDVDVLI,ZDVD¿UVWWLPHPRWKHUWU\LQJWR¿JXUH to be the same, they aren’t, and all I can do is make the best
out if I was doing anything right and becoming completely One exercise in particular was the 1-2-3 method, also of each situation. Not only that, but I should take time to
RYHUZKHOPHG0\RI¿FHZDVVWDUWLQJWRQRWLFHDFKDQJHLQ known as the “count” to stop behavior method. If your child KHOSP\VHOIUHOD[E\¿QGLQJDKREE\WRGLPLQLVKWKHVWUHVV
my attitude and how quickly I would become agitated to happens to have a tantrum or isn’t listening this is a great
RWKHUZLVHLQVLJQL¿FDQWHYHQWV I really took what he said to heart. My son is no longer
He later explained that no matter EHLQJDQWLVRFLDOKH¶VHDWLQJPRUHDQGEHLQJDORWQLFHU,
My co-worker and I decided to hang out once a week to still have to deal with his “terrible-two” moments, with and
discuss everything that was on our minds. Although it was how much I want things to be the my 1-year-old daughter deciding to join him, but with some
nice to vent and get some relief, it only went so far with redirection, they’re back to normal.
reducing the stress. same, they aren’t, and all I can do
Even when you feel there’s nowhere to turn for help,
Unfortunately, because of the hours my husband worked, is make the best of each situation. there’s always someone who cares and can guide you in the
I could only see him for an hour or two each day on Skype, right direction. There are other resources on base to support
after I put the children down to sleep for the night. Not only that, but I should take you in times of need, such as the Airman and Family Readi-
WLPHWRKHOSP\VHOIUHOD[E\¿QGLQJ QHVV&HQWHUNH\VSRXVHJURXSV¿UVWVKLUWVDQGPHQWDOKHDOWK
A week went by and I had to pick up my children one
afternoon, and I was stopped by a staff member at the child a hobby to diminish the stress. Whether it’s a friend, family member, counselor or even
development center. just writing a journal there are always avenues for help.
She asked, “Is there anything going on in your household?” You’re not alone.
I explained how my husband was currently on TDY and
I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately.
Commander’s
Action Line
email: speak2cc@edwards.af.mil
The Commander’s Action Line gives all Airmen, re-
tirees, families and community members a direct link to
Brig. Gen. Carl Schaefer, 412th Test Wing commander.
The Action Line can be used to express constructive
points of view on the policies and procedures of the
base; discuss safety and security issues; and address
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methods have been exhausted.
The Commander’s Action Line should not be the
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Action Line queries may be submitted by sending an
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