Page 45 - March 2019 - v1_june_july_2009.qxd

List of Conspiracy Views of Alex Jones
List of conspiracist views
held by one
Alex Emerick Jones
Continued from Page 44
• Justin Bieber: "They tell your kids that you
gotta love Justin Biebler, and then Biebler
says hand in your guns, pass the
cybsersecurity act, and, uh, y'know, uh, the
police state is good, and, and then your
children are turned into mindless vassals,
and they look up to some twit instead of
looking up to Thomas Jefferson, or looking
up to Nicola Tesla, or looking up to, uh, to
Magellan. [waving arms] I MEAN, KIDS,
MAGELLAN IS A LOT COOOOOLER
THAN JUSTIN BIEBER — I MEAN, HE
CIRCUMNAVIGATED, WITH ONE SHIP,
THE ENTIRE PLANET, HE WAS KILLED
BY WILD NATIVES BEFORE THEY GOT
BACK TO PORTUGAL, AND WHEN
THEY GOT BACK THERE WAS[sic]
ONLY LIKE 11 PEOPLE ALIVE OF THE
200-SOMETHING CREW, AND THE
ENTIRE SHIP WAS ROTTING DOWN TO
THE WATER LINE. That's destiny, that's
will, that's being a trailblazer and
explore.Going into space, mathematics,
quantum mechanics, the secrets of the
universe — it's all there! Life is fiery in its neck hopping around, little murdering
beauty, its incredible detail! [unclear] THEY
WANNA SHUTTER YOUR MIND,
TALKING ABOUT JUSTIN
BIEEEBERRR! It's PURE EVIL! IT'S
TYRANNY, PEOPLE! They're taking your
intellect, your soul, and they're giving you
Michael Jordan and BIEBER!"
• Victims of the New World Order: Hunter
S. Thompson, Gary Webb, Princess Diana,
Antonin Scalia (maybe) and Prince (maybe)
were all murdered to cover up what they
knew about the New World Order, or
whatever.
• Nerds are out to get everyone: "I tell ya Atheists:
folks, nerds are one of the most dangerous
groups in this country, because they're gonna • Are occultists: "Every time I've studied the really Obama's daughters. (He actually
end up running things, but they still hate
everybody, because they weren't the jocks in
high school, so they play little dirty games
on everybody. [begins pointing to head]
They use their brains to hurt people. And I'm
aware of them. Ok, I'mma — I SEE YOU,
YOU LITTLE RATS!”
• Fluoride: The standard fluoride woo. The
Infowars Store "helpfully" sells "Survival
Shield X-2 — Nascent Iodine", a liquid, with
a serving size of 3 drops that gives 1950 µg • Worship Satan: "This, this is their religion! Any evidence of her true sex has been wiped
of iodine, nearly double the maximum
amount recommended by the National
Institutes of Health Office of Dietary
Supplements.The Edgar Cayce-inspired
iodine treatment is supposed to combat
water fluoridation (actually quite safe) as
well as water disinfection byproducts (very
safe compared to the effects of not
disinfecting) with an ineffective but
potentially-toxic dose of iodine.
• "Control freaks": "[waving arms, talking
in high-pitched "stupid" voice] Nellies going
"ehh ehh, kill everybody, I'm a nellie" —
AHHHH RGGGHHH [sits still; face
45
disgusted] — just simpering control freaks psychiatrists that are all out there, talking
in big nerd packs, taking everything over, about how horrible their lives are and their
ruling everything, becoming police officers incredible rates of suicide."
with weapons and tasering people for fun!
I've had it with control freaks, and SCUM!!! • The world is ruled by Satanists, and Satan
[bangs table] You people are CANCER! is real: "But, uh, atheists and people say, oh,
NNNGRGGHHNGYA! [bangs table, I don't believe in the devil, well it doesn't
grumbles, then smiles] All right, I'm not in a matter if you believe in the devil or not, there
good mood now, just — I just start thinking are people who rule the planet who believe
about Bill Gates doing that little chicken in the devil. Satan is real. Period. PERIOD.
END OF STORY."
eugenicist. You know how he walks, like • Carrie Fisher of Star Wars fame might
[waving arms again] "ehh heh heeeh heh have been killed to boost sales. Video
heeeh", like a demonic elf, "I'm Bill Gates", posted day of her death. Thanks, Alex.
heeeh heh heeeh heh heh. [sits still] I'm • Power-bamacare-control: Powerball and
gonna shoot you up with something that's Obamacare and gun control are all related
gonna kill you deader than a hammer! [stares because gambling and political discourse are
intensely at screen] HOW'S THAT 30 YEAR both addictive dopamine-heavy activities.
DEATH FROM GUT DISEASE SOUND, Right.
AFRICAN CHILDREN, ROLL UP THE
SLEEVES, I'M A LITTLE CHICKEN- The Obamas
NECKED BASTARD, AND NOBODY'S
GOT THE WILL TO SEE WHO I AM?" • "Bezelbub, Baphomet, Leviathan, the
devil. He is the devil. Barack Obama is the
devil."
• Apparently, Malia and Sasha are not
groups that fund and run the atheist,[sic] had the nerve to say this a few days before
they're not atheist, they're occultist. And I his child custody hearing.)
guess if they can't get people to be occultist, • Michelle Obama is apparently
they will just get them to be atheist and then transgender. Jones' evidence for this?
atheists almost always become supporters of Simple! Her shoulders are wider than
eugenics and abortion and humans are just Barack's. Given that males generally have
blobs and humans don't have any great wider shoulders than females the only
destiny and humans are a parasite,[sic] and logical conclusion for one specific woman
you just can't ignore the fruits of these having broader shoulders than one specific
people." man is that she must be biologically male.
Y'see, you see, at the highest level, the off the internet by the New World Order (of
atheists aren't really atheists at the higher course). Why are they so keen to hide this?
levels, they write books, these people Well, if people find out that the (now former)
worship Lucifer!" "The establishment is first lady is transgender they will do some
always saying you shouldn't have a religion digging (as if transgender-ism is not being
and god isn't real, but then you find out the studied by scientists already) and find out
elites who're saying they're atheists, 9 times the truth! The truth that the government is
out of 10 in my research, they turn out to be putting chemicals in the water to feminize
a occultist, who are Luciferian or Satanist." men! Luckily you can fight off the process
• Love death: "And they do! They love death! by buying Info Wars Cave Man Formula for
And I'm just in love with life. And I — I'm only $29.95!
sorry for those who've never experienced it,
y'know, when they laugh at us, all these
unhappy atheists and psychologists and (Continued on Page 48)