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How Lying Works 85

How Lying Works • Keep it simple. Lying takes great • Establish the baseline. Liars may look you
imagination and effort. While we're directly in the eye, and truth-tellers may be
conjuring up alternate scenarios and fidgety and seem evasive, so don't look for
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realities, our minds fill in all the extra details one trait or the other. First, establish the
that come in handy. Liars tend to tell far too person's behaviors, mood and mannerisms
When we normally interact, both speech and
many irrelevant details, and they do this to for that particular point in time, before the
body language happen naturally, without
further "prove" the lie is the truth. More questioning begins. Is the person relaxed or
specific thought. When we lie, however, not
often than not, this extra information stands nervous? Angry? Distracted? Notice how
only must we appraise the truth, construct a
out because it has little or nothing to do with much eye contact and blinking is going on.
plausible lie and then verbalize it, we must also
the question. Keeping the lie simple makes it Does the person touch his or her hands or
decide which body gestures best match the lie,
easier to keep the "facts" straight. Adding face when speaking?
or rather best represent the telling of the truth.
extra details will only trip you up when the
All of this thought leads to mis-matching words
questioning focuses on the details, because • Look for deviations from the baseline. The
and body language.
these extra bits of information may not add key to detecting lies is to look for deviations
Someone who's lying may feel attacked
up to a coherent and plausible lie. from an established pattern of behavior. If a
and get in a defensive position. He or she might
person normally makes no eye contact and
turn away from the questioner, cross his or her
• Remain steady. It's important that you keep blinks like crazy but stares straight through
arms or even move farther away. Liars may
an evenness to your mannerisms and mood you when answering a particular question,
noticeably fidget, especially during a pause in
before, during and after the lie. If you're there's your red flag. Look for slight pauses
the conversation.
feeling nervous before your lie, keep acting before answers -- this is the amount of time
There are other nonverbal cues that
nervous. If you're relaxed before someone it takes their brain to fabricate data. The liar
many people think are surefire signs of lying but
hits you with an unexpected question, stay may act offended at being questioned at all
aren't, such as increased blinking, scratching the
relaxed. It's the shift in tone and body but suddenly quite affable when the lie is
face or nose, or placing a hand over the mouth
language that will clue someone in to your being told, or vice versa.
while speaking. These signs are only good
fabricating ways. Once the questioning is
indicators when they represent a change in the
over, don't suddenly relax or appear relieved. • Listen. Sometimes, there will be no body
person's normal behavior (that is, the behavior
If you were agitated while lying, stay language or visual cues that accompany a
immediately preceding the suspected lie).
agitated after the lying is finished. A person lie. You have to rely on the verbal
Maybe the guy who's blinking a lot has an
standing watch in a guard tower looks for information you receive. Do the facts add
eyelash in his eye, and the girl covering her
motion or a change in the environment, and up? Is the person telling you lots of
mouth is just self-conscious; however, if the
so too does a person looking for a lie. Give information that is unrelated to the question?
person doesn't blink often during the first three
him or her as little as possible to work with. If someone provides lots of details, ask more
statements and blinks like crazy and scratches
questions. These details might be their
his or her neck while giving the fourth
• Make the listener like you. You're trying to undoing. After getting into the nitty-gritty of
statement, then that statement warrants closer
tell a lie, and the listener wants to hear the the details, bounce the questioning back to
examination.
truth. You must make him or her believe the overall time frame or arc of the story.
Someone telling a lie will also leak
your lie is the truth. Think of it this way: Now, refocus on a small detail. Does the
verbal clues that point to dishonesty. Since he or
We're less likely to suspect those we feel story still fit together? Is the person having
she has to invent an answer, a lie-teller will often
close to, partly because it would be too to create new details to explain why other
spend more time searching for the right word in
disruptive to the relationship to believe there details aren't fitting well into the arc of the
the course of telling a story. The person might
is deception. story?
take too long to provide an answer or get words
mixed up. To get extra time to think, a liar won't
Also, we're offended by lies because • Pause. For most people, lying -- and the
use contractions (opting for "cannot" instead of
they are signs of disrespect. So when we lie, we circumstance that necessitates the telling of a
"can't") and may also repeat questions ("Where
must give the listener no reason to doubt our lie -- is stressful. If you're questioning
was I last night?" or "You want to know what I
worth or our perception of their worth. Think: somebody, pause between one of his or her
was doing yesterday?").
We're both adults. We both like each other. You answers and your next question. Pauses are
Since they have to create an alternate
have a question? Here's the answer, and let's slightly uncomfortable for most people in a
reality apart from the truth, liars have difficulty
move on. Don't grovel for the listener's approval social interaction, and much more so for a
knowing how much of the new story to tell and
or try to be too ingratiating. That's what liars do. person who is trying to pass off a lie. This
will often include unnecessary details.
Don't include statements like, "Are you mad at pause may seem like a torturous eternity to a
Next, we'll learn what to do if the glove
me?" Why would the person be mad at you liar. Look for fidgeting, defensive posturing
fits.
unless you're being deceitful? He or she wants and microexpressions.
the truth, but running a close second is the need
How Lying Works to believe that you wouldn't lie. • Change the subject. The best news a liar
Now that you know how to lie, the next can receive is that the lie is over. When the
Whether you are complimenting a friend on his section will teach the rest of us how to catch you person believes the topic of conversation has
unpalatable Thanksgiving dinner or telling the in the act. changed, he or she may be visibly relieved.
authorities you don't know how the drugs got in A nervous person may loosen up; an agitated
your car, all of us at some point tell lies. These
How to Tell If Someone is Lying person may smile. This tactic also allows
lies can range from little white lies meant to you to continue studying for deviations from
lubricate social situations and relationships to
If you were accused of murder, you'd be under the baseline or to look for a return to the
hide-saving whoppers that will go down in
enormous pressure to lie if you were guilty. The baseline.
infamy.
stakes are high, and that kind of pressure can
Here's how you do it. In the next section, we'll take a look at
lead to physical cues that will give you away. A
person serving a life sentence for murder, some famous lies.
• Stay calm. The person you're lying to will
however, would feel virtually no pressure when
be closely monitoring your speech and
lying about the murder because he or she is (Continued on Page 86)
behavior. The act of lying may quicken your
already in prison -- there won't be any further
heartbeat or increase your blood pressure. consequences for lying. In this case, it's the
Behave as if you have nothing to hide. “A lie can travel half way around
verbal details, and not body language, that will the world while the truth is putting
Beware of your own anger at being put on
likely be his or her undoing.
the spot -- this might create on its shoes.”
Here's how you separate the liars from
microexpressions of contempt or rage. Charles Spurgeon.
the truth-tellers: