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REFLECTIONS | EASTERN HORIZON 49

I can from experience share that evangelists will cherry In the meantime, the parents will have to try to stop
pick passages that they want the new convert to hear. grieving, worrying and arguing. Talk about things other
I can only, without creating more animosity, advice than religion for the present for it is adding fuel to hurt.
that the young read their ‘Holy Scriptures’ wholly and Do things together, live life together—share meals, go
objectively for themselves and not just what they are on vacation. And most importantly continue to love
told to read. I had studied their scriptures seriously for each other. It is this lesson which may finally dawn on
10 years and the more I studied, the more repulsed I their minds that the mother’s love is supreme, more so
became as I see the real picture. than any divine being seen or unseen, real or imagined.
Please realize that loving someone is not compromise.
What can the parents do except to continue walking in
Throwing them out of the family home is the worst
love in this present state of affair? The hurt will have
thing anyone can do.
to be wept over and let go of. The parents will have to
stop mourning the child’s choice. Instead love him or her Remember that Mettā as taught by the Buddha is
unconditionally as best as they can. unconditional.

A common fear of the parents is the worry that child is It is not easy to resolve family conflicts. I advice that
not going to “heaven” or a better rebirth when he/she endless patience is the key, and empathy is equally
dies? I can only reassure the parents that in the end, it is important. It is important to hear each other out. And
only Action/Kamma which is important, not words and finally I reassure them that differences in faith may not
labels of faith which affects the outcome. It is kamma, keep each from being a loving member of the family, if
and kamma is created by people of all faiths. only we let our ego down and just love.

The reverse may well hold some truth too. Does the
What is the meaning of life?
child worry about the parent’s future destination?
Before long, life ends in death,
and whatever is worthwhile and good,
Each may desperately pray for divine intervention to
should be done,
guide family members to their own beliefs, each may
think that only they know best. But the harsh truth is without any delay;
that Minds will be closed to any talk or discussion. The and this, is the meaning of life.
good news is that our actions speak so loud that no one
can hear our words! Especially in this trying time when
Source: originally posted in Facebook page of Metta
everyone is talking and no one is listening.
Lodge Johor Bahru, and reprinted in Eastern Horizon
with permission of author. EH
The parents must not get stuck in hurt and guilt.
Instead, look at the entire picture of saṃsāra,
understanding that rebirth gives us many opportunities
to learn, that it is not a one shot in the dark game. All of
us may well have acted in a similar role on the various
stages we call the circle of life. Think about that!

Along the way, help each other to see the realities of
nature, the Truths of life for wisdom and insight. All
things are Impermanent including this crisis. The fact
that a “not so bright” person like me could have invested
years of my life in studying their scriptures and finally
only understood after so many years, show that there is
hope for all. Even delusion is impermanent!