Page 48 - EH 73 May 2024

46 EASTERN HORIZON | FACE TO FACE

on tightly to our own image of how heart that can ache, means we’re a I first embarked on my so-called
the relationship should be, how beautiful human being, and that is spiritual journey as a young person,
the other person should be, how a reason to celebrate. I was more focused on making
they should treat us, and so on, myself into a ‘better’ person by
and our view is largely influenced In Mettā Sutta, a discourse we recite finding role models and trying to
by the media and the collective often in Plum Village, it says: “Just cultivate certain qualities I admired
consciousness of the society in as a mother loves and protects her in others, be they historical figures
which we live. As a practitioner, we only child at the risk of her own life, or people I have come in contact
want to cultivate insight or the right let us cultivate our love to offer to all directly. As I progressed in my
view 正見、transcending all views living beings in the entire cosmos.” spiritual journey, I discovered that
and free ourselves from views. I would never feel fulfilled if I keep
When we love, truly love our looking only in one direction by
Is it possible to love someone children and spouses, we remember just cultivating the ‘beautiful seeds’
dear like our children or spouse that they’re not ‘ours’. That is in myself without paying attention
without having attachments? not true love. We shouldn’t see and discovering the ‘unwanted

our children as an extension of seeds’ within me. The feeling of
Buddhism doesn’t teach that we ourselves, expecting them to fulfill disconnection or and ‘not-enough-
should have no attachment. The our dreams, or push onto them an ness’ could not be alleviated
Buddha said those who have a idea of happiness that is not in line because all those seeds ARE part
hundred loved ones have a hundred with their idea of happiness. True of me but I had neglected to know
sufferings. Those who have one love is very spacious. True love is myself as a whole person. This is
loved one have one suffering. Those when we offer each person to reach because I am always having the idea
who have no dear ones have no his/her full potential, to be the best of ‘who I want to be’ or ‘who I think
sufferings. When our teacher passed version of themselves. I should be’ or ‘who I need to be
away, we organized online a week of in order to be a valuable member
ceremonies, attended by thousands How has compassion transformed of society’ or ‘who I want to be in
of people from around the world. you since you became a monastic order to approve myself as a happy,
They witnessed many monks and compared to when you were a lay successful person.’ etc. etc. But it
nuns crying, and some commented: person? is only by seeing and accepting the
“I thought Buddhists practice part of myself that is hard to accept
impermanence and non-attachment. The question is not becoming a that I can truly feel ‘I have arrived,
Why are you crying?” monastic or continuing as a lay I am home’ in my own body and
person because I know many lay mind, which is one of the four Plum
We need to remember why we practitioners who practice with Village Dharma Seals.
practice Buddhism. We need to courage and sincerity, much better
remember why the Buddha wanted than monastic practitioners. So We can only give to others what
to teach what he taught. The aim I’d rephrase the question to “how we have. So if we aspire to love all
of our practice is not to attain is my practice of compassion now beings as stated in Mettā Sutta, we
super-power and become a super- compared to the time when I first have to start by understanding and
human who is immune to human started practicing?” loving ourselves. That is the practice
emotions and sufferings. When of mindfulness, to cultivate true
we are separated from our loved I have the courage to face the so- presence first of all for ourselves
ones, it is very painful, but we can called dark side of myself, to accept so that we can offer ourselves to
at the same time remember and myself as a whole. In our modern others. EH
celebrate the fact that we feel the society, many of us suffer from
pain because we love. To have a loneliness and disconnection. When