Page 121 - It Ends with Us

He was on top of he r.

The y were on the couch an d he had hi s han d around he r throat, but hi s
othe r han d was pulling up he r dress. She was tr ying to fight hi m of f an d I just
stood the re, frozen. She kept begging hi m to get of f he r an d the n he hi t he r right
ac ross the fac e an d told he r to shu t up. I’ll never forget hi s words whe n he sai d,
“You want at tention? I’ll give you some fucking at tention.” And that ’s whe n
she got real still an d stopped fight ing hi m. I he ard he r cr ying, and the n she

sai d, “Pleas e be quiet. Li ly is he re.”
She sai d, “Pleas e be quiet.”
Pleas e be quiet whi le you rap e me, de ar.
Ellen, I di dn ’t know one hu man was cap ab le of feeling so much hat e inside
one he ar t. And I’m not even tal king ab out my fat he r. I’m tal king ab out me.
I wal ked strai ght to the kitche n an d I opened a dr aw er. I grab bed the biggest
knife I could find an d . . . I do n’t know ho w to explai n it. It was like I was n’t

even in my own body. I could see myself wal king ac ross the kitche n with the
knife in my han d, an d I knew I was n’t going to use it. I just wan ted somethi ng
bigger than myself that could scare hi m aw ay from he r. Bu t right before I made
it out of the kitche n, two ar ms went around my wai st an d picked me up from
behi nd. I dropped the knife, an d my fat he r di dn ’t he ar it but my mothe r di d.
We locked eyes as Atlas car ried me bac k to my bedroom. Whe n we were bac k

inside my room, I just star ted hi tting hi m in the che st, tr ying to get bac k out
the re to he r. I was cr ying an d do ing ever ythi ng I could to get hi m out of my
way, but he wouldn ’t move.
He just wrap ped hi s ar ms around me an d sai d, “Li ly, cal m do wn.” He kept
say ing it over an d over, an d he he ld me the re for a long time until I ac cepted
that he was n’t gonna let me go bac k out the re. He was n’t gonna let me hav e
that knife.

He wal ked over to the bed an d grab bed hi s jac ket an d star ted putting on hi s
sho es. “We’ll go next do or,” he sai d. “We’ll cal l the police.”
The police.
My mothe r had war ned me not to cal l the police in the pas t. She sai d it
could jeopardi ze my fat he r’s career. Bu t in al l ho nesty, I di dn ’t care at that
point. I di dn ’t care that he was the may or or that ever yone who loved hi m

di dn ’t know the aw ful side of hi m. The only thi ng I cared ab out was he lping
my mothe r, so I pulled on my jac ket an d went to the closet for a pai r of sho es.
Whe n I stepped out of my closet, Atlas was star ing at my bedroom do or.
It was opening.