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heroic figures with a strong emotional resonance rather than choosing a manager with proven abilities and aptitude... Truly there is no intelligent life there. So, let me get this right, bruv. You didn’t win anything but you consider success to be not going down to the Championship while your rivals do?
I: Yeah, well...one thing at a time.
G: (closing his one eye for several seconds, a clear sign that he’s trying to understand a very alien concept.) Hmmm, most interesting....but why were you so low in the league after Keano spent £80 million on new players? Incidentally, our monitors failed to locate Keano in your temple on Sunday. Perhaps he was conferring with his quadruped companion? We noticed he prefers this life-form to you humanoids.
I: Oh, Keano walked in December. He’s manager at Ipswich now.
G: (checking his pan-galactic mobile for several seconds). Hmm, Tractor Boys... a most useful skill for those pre- seasons when matches are scarce. I’m impressed by Keano actually walking to Ipswich but we know he is a very fit man, innit? But why did he leave?
I: Well, he lost the dressing-room basically.
G: I see...and so the expensive new players were lost too...This explains much. Has the dressing-room been relocated?
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