Page 118 - What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours

equaled, the son she and Jacob hadn’t had time to have, their postwar baby.

Having a kid of your own, yes, now she saw what all the fuss was about.
“Thanks for opening the gherkin jar, my strong man,” she said, taking his other
piece of toast. He could make more. He flexed his puny biceps and said: “You’re
welcome.”
He was so new that all his clothes still had price tags attached; they looked
the price tags over one by one: “Oh my god, how much? Thieves and bandits!
This isn’t even going to fit you five minutes from now.” Her son rubbed her

hands until they were warmer. She liked that, didn’t matter if he was just sucking
up in the moments before he asked her for something. He wanted a skateboard,
and launched into a list of reasons why she should let him have one, but she just
said: “Yes. Stay there.” There was a fifty-pound note in her purse, and she went
to get it. When she came back he was still there but a bit older now, about fifteen

and a half, and he didn’t want a skateboard anymore, he wanted some video
game console or other. She gave him all the cash she had on her and told him
he’d have to get the rest from his dad.
Hugs, kisses; ah good, they’d raised him to be tactile. “You’re the best,
Mum.”
“Yeah, yeah . . .”
He dried her sudden tears. “Don’t cry while I’m out, Mum.”

“You’re really coming back?”
“Yeah, but if you send me away I won’t.”
“I’m bloody well not sending you away.”
“Great. Bye for now then.” He threw his plate into the sink—more at the sink,
no, really he threw the plate as if it were a Frisbee. But it did land in the sink.
Sheer luck.

“Hang on . . . what’s your name?”
“Alex, innit.”
“Have you got friends? Who are your friends?”
He rolled his eyes, showed her a few photos on his phone, scrolled past
certain other photos at lightning speed. “Mum, it’s almost twelve-thirty so . . .
see you later, yeah?”
She didn’t bother listening for the front door this time. She wanted to say

something to her husband about their son. She switched on her laptop and
drafted an e-mail to Jacob with the subject line Have you seen what we made???
and plugged her headphones in instead of sending it. She played the third
conversation they’d filmed. One question and one answer.