Page 151 - In Five Years

have clamped shut too quickly. She leans on Aaron. I see the rise and fall of her
body, matched in step to her breathing. The first evidence is in, and it isn’t good.
Aaron helps her upstairs. Svedka is still there, washing dishes that have never
been dirty. Bella hasn’t fully recovered from surgery, and small things like a few

stairs or bending down are still difficult. It will take her months to fully recover,
and then there is the chemo.

“Let’s get you into bed,” I say.
Bella is wearing a blue lace Zimmermann dress with a butter-soft chocolate
leather jacket, and I help her take them off. Aaron stays in the other room. When
she’s undressed, I can see her scars, some still bandaged, and how much thinner

she has gotten in just a few short weeks. She must have lost fifteen pounds.
I smile, forcing the tide back down. “Here,” I say. She holds her head out like

a child, and I loop a long-sleeved cotton T-shirt over her head, then slide on
some soft gray drawstring sweatpants. I pull down the freshly laundered duvet
and tuck her inside, fluffing the pillows behind her.

“You’re so good to me,” she says. She reaches up for my hand, curls her tiny
palm into mine. Bella has always had the smallest hands, too little for her body.
“You make it easy,” I say. “You’ll be better in no time.”

We look at each other for a beat. Long enough for us to recognize the terrible
fear we’re both facing.
“I got you something!” Bella says. Her face breaks out into a smile. She tucks

some hair behind her ears. Hair that will soon be gone.
“Bella, come on,” I say. “That’s not—”
She shakes her head. “No, for your birthday!”

“My birthday is next week.”
“So it’s early. I have an excuse to do things now, don’t you think?”
I say nothing.

“Greg, can you come help me?”
Aaron comes into the room, wiping his hands on his jeans. “What’s up?”
Bella sits up in bed, pointing excitedly to a gift-wrapped package that leans

against her closet wall.
Aaron picks it up. I can tell it’s not light. “On the bed?” he asks.
“Yeah, here.” Bella removes a throw from her feet and moves her legs into a

cross-legged position. She taps the space next to her, and I go to sit. “Open it.”