Page 154 - In Five Years

I want to ask him more. Like whether he’s seen a case like this before. Like
what we should prepare for. I want to ask him to tell me. Tell me what is going
to happen. Give me the answers. But he can’t. He doesn’t know. And whatever
he has to say, I’m not interested in hearing.

I go back in the room. Bella’s leaning her head against the side of her
armchair, her eyes closed. She opens them when I’m in front of her.

“Guess what?” she tells me, her voice sleepy. “Mom is going to take me to
dinner and to see the Barbra Streisand musical. Do you want to come?”
Jill, dressed in black crepe slacks and a floral print silk blouse with a pussy
bow, leans over. “It’ll be fun. We’ll go to Sardi’s before and have some

martinis.”
“Bella . . .” I can feel the anger start to simmer in me. She can barely sit up.

She’s going to go to dinner? To a theater?
Bella rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on. I can do it.”
“You’re not really supposed to be out right now. Dr. Shaw did say that, and he

definitely mentioned that alcohol could interfere with your medi—”
“Stop! What are you, my parole officer?” Bella fires at me. It feels like a shot
to the stomach.

“No,” I say, calmly. “I’m not trying to keep you from anything; I’m just
trying to keep you well. I’m the one who has been here, and who has listened to
the doctors.”

Jill doesn’t even bristle. She doesn’t even seem to understand the slight.
“So have I,” Bella says. She reaches down and tugs her blanket up. I see how
thin her legs have become, like two arms. She notices me noticing.

“I’m going to get some iced tea,” Jill says. “Bella, can I get you some iced
tea?”
“Bella doesn’t drink iced tea,” I say. “She hates it. She always has.”

“Well,” Jill says. “Coffee then!” She doesn’t wait for a response, just saunters
out of the room like she’s in sweaters and headed now toward the shoe
department.

“What is wrong with you?” Bella hisses when she’s left.
“What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? You can’t do this tonight.
You know that. Why are you acting this way?”