Page 6 - January 2024 Issue.indd

Why Stay Married? - made from the same body.” That sense of oneness can no
longer be achieved physically; however, with hard work and
commitment, there are times when it can be found emotion-
by Rich Warfi eld
ally and spiritually. That is the relationship we seek when we

say “I Do” and the one that should be our desire throughout
January 14, 2024 marks the 40th anniversary of my marriage our married lives. Unfortunately, it is elusive.
celebration. We were married at Christ Episcopal Church in

Denton and received all of our friends and family members How do Prince Charming and The Princess Bride become

at the Caroline Country Club shortly thereafter. Loretta Mr. Hyde and The Wicked Witch of the West? Is it inevitable,
was stunning in her beautiful wedding or does it simply become a self-fulfi lling
dress, and I’ve never looked sharper. We prophecy? To learn the answers to these
memorized and passionately delivered questions we must first determine what
our vows without prompting from Father qualities we found attractive in our mates.
Cliff and privately committed that divorce What was it about them that stirred us to

would never be an option for us. It was a want to spend the rest of our lives with
powerful, life changing experience, and yet, them? Generally, these qualities remain;
surpassed many years later by the look on however, they can be hidden by our eff orts

my son’s face after his first glimpse of soon to “improve” our spouse (change them to

to be wife, Becky, when she began to walk fit our image of the perfect mate). During
down the aisle. Thankfully, the photogra- courtship we tend to overlook anything

pher captured the moment. that our fiancé does that disturbs us,
assuming that we can modify their behav-
Marriage is a wonderful institution, unique ior over time with indisputable logic. How
in many ways. Our Wedding Day is prob- incredibly naive. We don’t realize that they
ably the one event in our lives most oft en are trying to change our irritating behavior
yearned for, and later described as the at the same time. Life would be so much
“most memorable day of my life.” We tend more rewarding if we would try instead
to become husbands and wives with few to modify our own behavior as requested
reservations because the joy of sharing our and accept our mate as is, 100% without
hopes, dreams and lives with such a special exception. This attitude change must be

person far outweighs any fear associated unconditional as our marriage vows are
with commitment and compromise. We supposed to be. Nothing that our mate
enjoy “showing off ” our new treasure and beam whenever does or says must aff ect our heartfelt desire to be the very
anyone asks how we are enjoying “married life.” How is it best, most loving, and considerate spouse we can be. Only
then that nearly half of these “Blessed Unions” end in the then can that “honeymoon” feeling begin to be rekindled and
most distasteful and painful fashion? It’s not on purpose… oneness be revisited.
What causes the honeymoon to end? Let us consider these
questions in more detail. But what about the husband who refuses to put the cap on
the toothpaste tube? He comes home from work or a busi-
Where did the institution of marriage come from? To answer ness trip and fails to gush about the immaculate condition of
this question, we must go all the way back to the very begin- his castle or the lovely improvements that were made while
ning. “It is not good that the man should be alone” was he was away. He leaves his clothes on the bedroom fl oor no
God’s determination in the book of beginnings (Genesis). matter how enticing the hamper looks. He attacks with words
When God gave Adam the opportunity to choose a suit- he later regrets and wants to solve your problems rather than
able companion, He knew that Adam would not find a bird, acknowledge or empathize with your feelings. Not to mention

monkey or even “Man’s Best Friend” suitable. According to the toilet seat! What about the wife who is never satisfi ed with
D. James Kennedy’s inspiring book Learning to Live with the anything you do for her around the house? The lawn doesn’t

People You Love, “Although Adam enjoyed the companion- cut itself… She creeps on you using “Find My Phone” and has
ship of beautiful horses, lovable lions, and cuddly lambs, he a never-ending list of things for you to do on the weekend.
did not have a suitable helper. None of the animals could On the weekend! She belittles you to her sisters on the phone
meet Adam’s needs, so the Creator designed a completely and won’t fi x herself up. She waits until you get home from
new being for man.” work then sends you back out for milk instead of asking you
to pick it up on the way home. And it goes on and on… Why
We learn that the woman was built from one of Adam’s ribs should we have to put up with all that?
and thus, the two enjoyed a perfect oneness that no other
couple will ever experience. “They were literally one fl esh Well, there are at least three very good reasons to do so;

aft er all, when we really think about it, these irritants are
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