Page 302 - ILIAS ATHANASIADIS AKA RO1

That gay couples are leading the way in sexually progressive relationships

shouldn’t be surprising, according to Bronski.

“Because they’ve been excluded from traditional notions of sexual behavior,
they’ve had to be trendsetters and forge their own relationship norms,” he says.

Norton believes the facility with which gay men engage in open relationships

may be related to a fear of intimacy.

“The experience of coming to terms with your homosexual identity can often be
associated with emotional abandonment, shame and rejection,” he says.

“So our experience with love and intimacy at an early age is often broken and

compromised, so when someone tries to get close to us as an adult, defenses go
up,” he says.

“It’s human nature to avoid revisiting feelings of abandonment, and open

relationships may be a way of keeping a distance between another man.”

But Allen says that being open has strengthened his relationship with McIntyre
and brought the couple closer together.

“I feel a greater sense of connectedness with Hugh because I get to see him

explore his sexuality with other people and I feel gratitude to him for giving me
the same leeway,” he says.

All the experts in this story say they believe open relationships

can work when they are built on honesty and communication.