Page 83 - moondani kyema
P. 83
ndani kyema, My Story - Ray Moore 83
years of your life to work in China, surely you should stay with your
children now in their teenage years. Let somebody else go overseas.”
Miserably, I knew how true it all was. And yet there was that strong
inner conviction which I had learned to know as God’s voice to me.
The pain in my heart deepened as I left them, standing on the platform
of Melbourne’s Spencer Street Station, as I commenced the long
overland journey from Melbourne to Perth.
At Perth I was met by Amy, sisters and many friends. On the surface I
smiled and greeted them all and spoke at missionary meetings about
God’s guidance, but underneath my heart was sore as I cried out
continually to God, who alone could give me what I needed. “Oh
Lord,” I prayed, “Comfort me and reassure me, please. I know I
haven’t mistaken your voice, but I can’t bear to be so torn in two all the
time over these separations from my children. Surely, you gave them
to us. Surely it is right for families to be together and for children to be
with their parents. Then why, why must I leave them again? How can
this be right?”
It was on a Sunday night in Perth that His Word of comfort first came. I
was in a church, listening to a preacher I had not often heard. He
spoke of Abraham, whose obedience to God brought blessing, not only
to his own life, but to that of his son and to future generations yet
unborn. It was God’s Word to me – the obedience of parents brings
blessing to the children. The soreness in my heart eased a little as I
prayed, “Oh Lord, bring blessing to our children, as you did for
Abraham, because we obey you.”
I left Fremantle, and in the rare luxury of a cabin to myself, spent time
reading the Scriptures, trying to prepare for the new life which lay
ahead of me. God gave me promise after promise from the Book of
Isaiah of His blessing on the children of those who serve and obey
Him. (See end note 1) It was God’s Word to me and it brought comfort
and assurance. In the years which lay ahead our children faced many
problems and we were often anxious about them, but the word given
me as I set out for Malaya remained as an anchor for my soul, and
reassured me over and over again as we prayed for them.
So I found peace, and as we slowly moved in to Singapore harbour
and I went up on deck to look for Percy’s familiar face and figure, I
knew that my Shepherd had led me into green pastures and into quiet
waters, and had restored my soul.”
In boarding school I think in some way we all yearned for that ‘maternal attachment’
which would have provided “proximity” and someone to turn to when distressed, but
when we could not find it in any satisfying way, we found other ways to deal with it.
Many people made close friends and walked around with their arms around each
other. Some found some kind of tactile gratification in rough and tumble and contact
sports. My method was to withdraw into myself and create an emotional shell in
which I could stay and not be hurt.
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years of your life to work in China, surely you should stay with your
children now in their teenage years. Let somebody else go overseas.”
Miserably, I knew how true it all was. And yet there was that strong
inner conviction which I had learned to know as God’s voice to me.
The pain in my heart deepened as I left them, standing on the platform
of Melbourne’s Spencer Street Station, as I commenced the long
overland journey from Melbourne to Perth.
At Perth I was met by Amy, sisters and many friends. On the surface I
smiled and greeted them all and spoke at missionary meetings about
God’s guidance, but underneath my heart was sore as I cried out
continually to God, who alone could give me what I needed. “Oh
Lord,” I prayed, “Comfort me and reassure me, please. I know I
haven’t mistaken your voice, but I can’t bear to be so torn in two all the
time over these separations from my children. Surely, you gave them
to us. Surely it is right for families to be together and for children to be
with their parents. Then why, why must I leave them again? How can
this be right?”
It was on a Sunday night in Perth that His Word of comfort first came. I
was in a church, listening to a preacher I had not often heard. He
spoke of Abraham, whose obedience to God brought blessing, not only
to his own life, but to that of his son and to future generations yet
unborn. It was God’s Word to me – the obedience of parents brings
blessing to the children. The soreness in my heart eased a little as I
prayed, “Oh Lord, bring blessing to our children, as you did for
Abraham, because we obey you.”
I left Fremantle, and in the rare luxury of a cabin to myself, spent time
reading the Scriptures, trying to prepare for the new life which lay
ahead of me. God gave me promise after promise from the Book of
Isaiah of His blessing on the children of those who serve and obey
Him. (See end note 1) It was God’s Word to me and it brought comfort
and assurance. In the years which lay ahead our children faced many
problems and we were often anxious about them, but the word given
me as I set out for Malaya remained as an anchor for my soul, and
reassured me over and over again as we prayed for them.
So I found peace, and as we slowly moved in to Singapore harbour
and I went up on deck to look for Percy’s familiar face and figure, I
knew that my Shepherd had led me into green pastures and into quiet
waters, and had restored my soul.”
In boarding school I think in some way we all yearned for that ‘maternal attachment’
which would have provided “proximity” and someone to turn to when distressed, but
when we could not find it in any satisfying way, we found other ways to deal with it.
Many people made close friends and walked around with their arms around each
other. Some found some kind of tactile gratification in rough and tumble and contact
sports. My method was to withdraw into myself and create an emotional shell in
which I could stay and not be hurt.
Return to Table of Contents
