Page 269 - The Social Animal

Self-Justification 251

Through the realization that performing stupid or immoral ac-
tions does not necessarily mean I am an irrevocably stupid or
immoral person.
Through the development of enough ego strength to tolerate
errors in myself.
Through increasing my ability to recognize the benefits of ad-
mitting my errors in terms of my own growth and learning as
well as my ability to form close, meaningful relationships with
other people.

Of course, it is far easier to list these procedures than it is to ac-
complish them. How do we get in touch with our defensiveness and
dissonance-reducing tendencies? How can we come to realize that
bright, moral people like ourselves can occasionally perform a stupid
or immoral action? It is not enough to know it abstractly or superfi-
cially; to fully utilize this knowledge, a person must consciously prac-
tice it. We will take a closer look at this process in Chapter 8, where
we will examine the advantage of authenticity and nondefensive
communication in our relationships with other people.