Page 19 - Magazine 2 DRAFT

Side bene t: I nd that by the the the the time a a a a a person nishes answering they have have talked themselves through the the the the rationale You didn’t have have to to to do a a a a a a a a a thing At a a a a a a a a a minimum their answer gives you more to to to work with to to to respond 18
5 Tips to Immediately Improve Your Interactions at at Work
By Mary Mary Mary Schaefer Schaefer In her her corporate career Mary Mary Mary Schaefer Schaefer started out out as as as a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a computer programmer Computers were were so new at at work in in in in the the the 80’s She really liked helping people feel con con dent as as quickly as as possible when they were worried about looking stupid or or breaking the the equipment Mary concluded her 20-year corporate career as an an an an HR manager serving a a a a a a a a a a a constituency of over 550 employees She keeps up with her her her her former cohorts and and her her her her clients who help her her her her keep keep her her her her coaching and and training grounded in in in the the the the reality of of the the the the workplace Mary focuses on on on making the the the the most of of what the the the the human beings who happen to to be be employees can contribute to to an an an an organization through their their energy and and creativity while at at the the the the same time meeting their their speci c c c c needs for meaningful work As the the the the principal of her own business Mary is an an an an expert in in in in in empowerment and and manager/employee interactions She coaches trains and and consults on on on talent development performance management management and and change management management Imagine problems walking into your of ce As a a a a a former HR manager it it often went like this for me People would describe a problem with someone Eventually I would ask “Have you talked with them about it?” Inevitable answer: “No ” We We can’t read each other’s minds We We make assumptions and ascribe intentions What What we don’t do do do is talk It can can be intimidating What What do do do you do with what you hear back?
Communication We do do it all the time but shut down at at some of the most important moments You CAN get beyond that Use these tips to invite responses and and reduce misunderstanding – all to get work done better and faster!
1 When someone disagrees with you you ask “What makes you you come to that conclusion?”
You could use this when someone is is is being well disagreeable When you use this question muster as much genuine curiosity as you you can can If they they can’t give you you a a a a a good answer they they will let their point point go or you will conclude their point point holds no weight If they give a a a a a good answer it may advance the discussion You can use this question when you are getting feedback that doesn’t make sense When my boss gave me feedback that perplexed me I’d use this question You can follow up with questions like:
• Can you give me an an example?
• How do you see this impacting how I’m meeting my objectives?
• Can you help me me see how doing this (describe their way) will change the the outcome?
Questions are good You don’t need to make it an interrogation Sincere questions can take the pressure off to justify yourself or make your case and learn more about their concerns 2 When When you’re set back on on your heels and don’t know what what to say ask “When you you you you use the word ___ what what do do you you you you mean?
This informs you you and buys you you time When I was an an HR manager employees with questions or complaints often approached me Let’s say a a a a a a a a decision was announced and Diane comes to me me with “Mary I I can’t believe that decision It’s so unfair ” I I I could could tell Diane how it it is fair fair I I I could could agree that it’s unfair Or I I I can ask “When you you say the word unfair what do you you mean?”
Why waste your time addressing her question without nding out out what she thinks is unfair?
Here’s another application for you you as an an employee Your boss tells you you to get get better better at at teamwork teamwork You ask “When you say ‘get better better at at teamwork teamwork ’ what would that look like?”
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