Page 37 - Demo

www.i-am-magazine.com37because other than living with grandma, wewere evicted from every place we ever lived%u2026because of my momma%u2019s addiction to alcohol.When momma called me into her room, I didn%u2019tsee her can of beer on the floor until I felt thecold liquid hit my foot. Immediately, I started tocry as momma started to yell, %u201cWhat are youcrying for?%u201d When I told her I was crying becauseI was scared she was going to whip me forknocking over her beer, she proceeded to %u201cgiveme something to cry for!%u201d Although she said shewas whipping me because I was crying fornothing, in my mind, I truly believe she whippedme because I knocked over her last can of beer.I can%u2019t count how many times I saw momma sodrunk that she could barely stand up straight. Ittook a long time for me to get up the courage totell her how I felt about her drinking, but itdidn%u2019t happen until a very good friend of minehad a very stern conversation with me. I couldn%u2019tstand seeing my momma that way, so I stoppedgoing around her. I didn%u2019t want my children tosee her that way either, so I separated %u201cus%u201d from%u201cher%u201d. What I was doing was judging her. I washating the sin and the sinner without realizing it.I was %u201cthrowing the baby out with the bathwater!%u201d Momma was the baby and her drinkingwas the bath water.As an adult with children of my own, I began tounderstand momma and what she wentthrough, and why she drank so much. I learnedwhat unconditional love was, so I was able tolove her despite her addiction. As a child, wehad some very dark times, but love brought thelight that guided us through those dark times.My momma passed away in 2009 and yes shewas still a drinker. I miss her, and not a day goes