Page 69 - Life is a Fight for Territory

person and let them know they are off the hook, but that’s not always practical or even possible. The other party may not be mentally or emotionally healthy enough for this to take place.
Simplicity is key here. Don’t complicate forgiveness by involving the other party or waiting for an apology. Remember, that’s exactly what has kept many people in a never-ending cycle of bitterness in the first place. Looking for repentance is not what forgiveness is about. It is the act of throwing off and putting aside. It is the act of setting ourselves free.
The path to true forgiveness includes the following steps:
1. An internal agreement that allows you to acknowledge that the event (or numerous events) took place. We are not talking about denial here. Yes, it happened. Yes, it was painful.
2. Make the decision to let it go. Yes, it may feel like an old friend right now, but in reality un-forgiveness is a monkey on your back. Release it. Say it out loud, “I release this person. I release myself. It ends here.” Now, this does not mean you’ll be reconciled with this person (if you previously had a relationship with them.) It simply means the negativity connected with the person and the event are now over. They will not have a hold on you.
3. When the opportunity to play the old movies in your head come back, it’s up to you to be the ‘bouncer at the door of your mind,’ and quickly refuse to partake in this matinee. “No thanks. I’ve got better things to fill my mind with!”
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