Page 300 - Wordsmith A Guide to College Writing

In a successful narrative, important details are emphasized, and
unimportant ones are de-emphasized or omitted entirely. If you are

writing about the time you performed the Heimlich maneuver to save a

fellow restaurant patron from choking to death, you will not go into

detail about what was on the menu, how the traffic was on the way to

the restaurant, or the quality of the service. You will focus on those

few minutes of crisis when you noticed that someone was choking,
remembered your training, and went into action. Details of those few

minutes—the worried faces of the man’s family, your feeling that time

had slowed down, the eyes of the restaurant patrons turning toward

you, and the choking man’s desperate, frightened eyes—may all have

a place in your narrative as you lead up to the moment when a small

chunk of steak flew from the man’s throat and landed on the carpet.

Exercise 8-4 Choosing Relevant Details

Imagine that you are writing a narrative about accidentally locking

yourself out of your house and having to convince a passing police
officer that you are not a burglar. Which of the following details would

you include in your narrative? Put a checkmark beside details that you

would include and an X beside those you would not. Then compare

your list with a classmate’s and see how closely you agree.

1. The phone rang just as I was going out the door,
so I set my keys on the counter.

2. When my carpool arrived, I hung up the phone

and hurried out the door.