Page 276 - Essentials of Human Communication

Critically Evaluating Speeches 255

publIC SpeakIng Sample aSSIStant

a poorly Constructed persuasive Speech

This speech illustrates some really broad as well as some more subtle errors that a beginning speaker might
make when constructing a persuasive speech. First, read the entire speech without reading any of the “Prob-
lems/Correctives.” As you read the speech, consider what errors are being demonstrated and how you might
correct them. Then, after you’ve read the entire speech, reread each paragraph and combine your own analysis
with the “Problems/Correctives” annotations.

SpeeCh problemS and CorreCtiveS
Title: Prenups This title sounds like an informative speech title and doesn’t give the idea
that a position will be argued. In addition, the topic, purpose, and thesis
are not clearly focused or appropriately worded. A more appropriate title
Topic: Prenuptial agreements
might be something like “Prenups Have Got to Go” or “The Dangers of Pre-
nups.” The topic would need to be narrowed by some qualification such as
Purpose: Prenuptials are bad. The negative aspects of prenuptial agreements. The purpose should be
stated as an infinitive phrase: To persuade my audience that prenuptial
agreements should be declared illegal. The thesis needs to be stated as a
Thesis: Why do we need prenuptial agreements? declarative sentence: Prenuptial agreements should be declared illegal.

InTroducTIon
You’re probably not worried about prenuptial agreements yet. But maybe This opening is weak and can easily turn off the audience. After all, if
you will be. At any rate, that’s what my speech is on. I mean that prenup- they’re not worried about it now, why listen? The speaker could have
tial agreements should be made illegal. made a case for the importance of this topic in the near future, however.
It appears as if the speaker knows the topic’s not important but will speak
on it anyway. A more effective introduction would have (1) captured the
audience’s attention—perhaps by citing some widely reported celebrity
prenup; (2) provided a connection among the speaker-audience-topic—
perhaps by noting the consequences individuals might suffer with or
without a prenup; and (3) oriented the audience as to what is to follow.

Body Here, a transition would help. In fact, transitions should be inserted
between the introduction and the body and between the body and the
conclusion. Using transitions between the main points and signposts
when introducing each main point would help. The speaker might have
said something like: “There are three main reasons why prenups should
be banned.”

Prenuptial agreements make marriage a temporary arrangement. If you This is the speaker’s first argument but it isn’t introduced in a way the
have a prenuptial agreement, you can get out of a marriage real fast— audience will find easy to understand. Abbreviations should be intro-
and we know that’s not a good thing. So if we didn’t have prenups— duced more smoothly. A simple signpost like, “My first argument against
that’s short for prenuptial agreements—marriages would last longer. prenups is . . . .” would make the audience see where the speaker is and
get a visual of the outline. To introduce the abbreviation that will be used
throughout the speech, the speaker might have incorporated it into the
first sentence—”Prenuptial agreements—for short, prenups—make a
marriage . . . .”