Page 397 - Essencials of Sociology

370 CHAPTER 12 Marriage and Family

Sociology and the New Technology

Online Dating: Risks and Rewards
There are over 1,000 online dating sites. Some are gen-
eral—they try to appeal to everyone. Others are niche,
targeting people by age, race, or religion. Still others are
super-niche. There are sites for Goths, military widows, and
pet lovers (Broughton 2013). One targets “green singles,”
people for whom environmental, vegetarian, and animal
rights are central. Another targets women who like men
with mustaches (Cole 2012; Webb 2013).

lectronic matchmaking is changing the way we find
mates. Online dating has become so popular that one-
Efifth (22 percent) of heterosexual couples now meet
online. For homosexuals, the total swells to three-fifths of
couples (Rosenfeld and Thomas 2012).
This is from an interview I did with Brenda, who is in her
late 20s:
I had just moved to Colorado, and I didn’t know anyone. © Jason Love/www.CartoonStock.com
I decided to go on the matchmaking Web site. I filled out
the profile, but I didn’t have high expectations. I searched
for someone who liked similar activities and had a similar
taste in music.
I could weed through the profiles and eliminate the
Wackos, the Desperates, and the Shady. I e-mailed three
men. Pedro seemed interesting. We wrote back and forth
for a while. It was a little scary when he asked to meet
somewhere. It was out of my comfort zone—I had never
seen him, and none of my friends knew him. “put their best foot forward,” women say that they weigh
We met at a neighborhood bar, where a local band was less than they do. And men? They say they are taller than
playing. We talked for hours. I knew so much about him they are (Rosenbloom 2011). But this seems to be in line
before we met. with what you could expect in meeting someone at a bar,
Then we started dating normally. or wherever you would meet someone for the first time.
To make a good impression, most people stretch the truth.
Brenda’s last statement is especially significant. Although (Do they really scuba dive, or is this something they would
Internet dating has lost most of its stigma, a residue re- just like to do?)
mains. You can see how Brenda expresses her feeling that Are there dangers? The Craig’s List rapists and all that?
Internet dating is not quite normal. She also asked that I not Certainly there are, and you have to watch out for shady
use her real name. Eventually, Internet dating will shed all characters lurking on the Net. How do you know that the
stigma. engaging person you are corresponding with is not already
It isn’t difficult to see the appeal of the dating sites. They married, does not have a dozen kids, or is not a child mo-
offer thousands of potential companions, lovers, or spouses. lester or a rapist? But what makes such concerns unique to
For a low monthly fee, you can meet the person of your Internet dating? Aren’t these the same kind of issues you
dreams—or so they promise. need to be concerned about when meeting someone at
The photos on these sites are fascinating. Some seem to school, a party, or even in the supermarket?
be lovely people—warm, attractive, and vivacious. Others Even though the form is changing, the substance appears
seem okay, although perhaps a bit needy. Then there are to be about the same. Maybe Internet dating is just tradition
the desperate, begging for someone—anyone—to contact dressed up in more technological clothing.
them: women who try for sexy poses, their exposed flesh
suggesting the promise of a good time, and men who do
their best to look like hulks, their muscular presence promis- For Your Consideration
ing the same. ↑ Have you used an online dating site? Would you
If you want to meet a mate online, though, you can ex- consider using one (if you were single and unattached)?
pect to be fed a few lies. Researchers have found that to Why or why not?