Page 402 - Essencials of Sociology

The Family Life Cycle 375

Cultural Diversity around the World

East Is East and West Is West:

Love and Arranged Marriage in India
After Arun Bharat Ram returned to India with a degree from
the University of Michigan, his mother announced that she
wanted to find him a wife. Arun would be a good catch
anywhere: 27 years old, educated, intelligent, handsome—
and, not incidentally, heir to a huge fortune.
Arun’s mother already had someone in mind. Manju came
from a middle-class family and was a college graduate. Arun
and Manju met in a coffee shop at a luxury hotel—along
with both sets of parents. He found her pretty and quiet. He lines by channeling marriage within the same caste. Unchap-
liked that. She was impressed that he didn’t boast about his eroned dating would encourage premarital sex, which, in
background. turn, would break down family lines. Virginity at marriage,
After four more meetings, including one at which the two in contrast, assures the upper castes that they know who fa-
young people met by themselves, the parents asked their thered the children. Consequently, Indians socialize their chil-
children whether they dren to think that parents
were willing to marry. have superior wisdom
Neither had any major in these matters. In the
objections. United States, where fam-
The Prime Minister of ily lines are less important
India and 1,500 other guests and caste is an alien
came to the wedding. concept, the practice of
“I didn’t love him,” young people choosing
Manju says. “But when their own dating partners
we talked, we had a lot in mirrors the relative open-
common.” She then adds, ness of our social class
“But now I couldn’t live system.
without him. I’ve never These different back-
thought of another man grounds have produced
since I met him.” contrasting ideas of love.
Despite India’s many Americans idealize love
changes, parents still This billboard in India caught my attention. As the text indicates, even though as something mysterious,
arrange about 90 per- India is industrializing, most of its people still follow traditional customs. This a passion that suddenly
billboard is a sign of changing times.
cent of marriages. Un- seizes an individual. Indi-
like the past, however, today’s couples have veto power ans view love as a peaceful feeling that develops when a man
over their parents’ selection. Another innovation is that and a woman are united in intimacy and share life’s interests
the prospective bride and groom are allowed to talk to and goals. For Americans, love just “happens,” while for Indi-
each other before the wedding—unheard of a generation ans, the right conditions create love. Marriage is one of those
or two ago. right conditions.
Why do Indians have arranged marriages? And why does The end result is this startling difference: For Americans,
this practice persist, even among the educated and upper love produces marriage—while for Indians, marriage
classes? We can also ask why the United States has such an produces love.
individualistic approach to marriage. Sources: Based on Gupta 1979; Bumiller 1992; Sprecher and Chandak
The answers to these questions take us to two sociologi- 1992; Dugger 1998; Gautham 2002; Swati 2008; Harris 2013; Berger
cal principles. First, a group’s marriage practices match its 1963/2014.
values. Individual mate selection matches U.S. values of
individuality and independence, while arranged marriages
match the Indian value of children deferring to parental For Your Consideration
authority. To Indians, allowing unrestricted dating would ↑ What advantages do you see to the Indian approach
mean entrusting important matters to inexperienced young to love and marriage? Could the Indian system work in the
people. United States? Why or why not? Do you think that love can
Second, a group’s marriage practices match its patterns of be created? Or does love suddenly “seize” people? What do
social stratification. Arranged marriages in India affirm caste you think love is, anyway?