Page 2 - Coping Skills Ten Life Rules

COPING SKILLS TEN LIFE RULES I. I shall not let my own or another’s “Stinky Thinking” control my life.You often let your own irrational beliefs (those not based on the reality of the situation) control your emotions and behaviors. You also allow the irrational beliefs of others to influence you into doing something against your best self-interest. We have many irrational self-messages that have been with us since childhood. They may have been messages from parents that had good intentions, “If you really love me you will do what I tell you to do” or that occurred in a moment of anger “You are just worthle … I wish you were never born.” Some irrational beliefs that begin in childhood came from playmates “No one wants you on their team because you are too clumsy” or “You are the dumbest kid in class.” And some … you just invented yourself “I am too weak (scared) to read aloud in class.” Not all childhood irrational self-messages are negative but they are still irrational and can cause a life time of problems, “Honey, you are the prettiest thing in your class and as long as you are the prettiest, you can have anything you want.” As children, you lack the ability to evaluate these messages and frequently they become the “filters” for your reality. Most of the Coping Skills stories in The Adventures of Cosmos Crow have the main character exhibit “Stinky Thinking.” The point of the Worksheets portion of each story is to have the child not only identify this “Stinky Thinking” but to also come up with alternative “Good Thinking” that could change the outcome of the story. Even if these Stinky Thinking messages came from powerful people (adults) or were repeated to you over and over again, does not make them true. Even if they contained some truth at that time, there is no need to let them continue to control your life. Many of us have a problem understanding that just because someone else tells you something, does not mean that it is true and even if it is true, there is no necessity that you should respond to it, if you doing so is against your best self-Interest. “Ms. Thomas down the street said that your children are the worst on the block. If I were you I would go down there and give her a piece of my mind.” Do you really know this is true? And even if it is, what real purpose would be served by giving her a “piece of your mind.” Others frequently have their own set of irrational beliefs and negative agendas that you need to avoid.