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Seeming to sense my pain, Sai Baba quickly walked over to me and made the circular hand motion once again. Suddenly, his hand filled up with a large mound of a greasy, sugary substance. “Sweets, for your children,” he soly said. I was awestruck by the materialization and moved by the personal aention. Had he actually understood my thoughts and feelings? Where had that candy come from, and why was I feeling so emotional?
I returned home from my first trip to India in a state of confusion. I had experienced something extraordinary and mysterious that was opening me up to the spiritual dimension. Who was this man Sai Baba? Could he actually help me find inner peace?
Sai Baba says, “Sweetness in humanity is divinity.” He tells us that God is hidden everywhere in the world and that if we search hard, we will find Him. For many years aer that first trip, I maintained a deep and continuous search for God, trying to find Him in those around me and even in myself, yearning to have the faith that I saw in my husband. Never ever did it occur to me that God could be searching for me!
I am searching; I am searching, still searching.
I searched in the past; I search and search now
For the man who knows and observes his dharma true. (SSB)
Looking for Faith
Faith does not come easily. For a long time, I struggled with Sai Baba’s teachings, with the foreign rituals, and even with Sam’s zealous devotion to Sai Baba and his frequent trips to India. Sam thoroughly enjoyed the Sanskrit chanting and the Hindu festivals. He meditated regularly and loved reading the stories of Krishna and Rama. We established a Sai Baba Center in our home and held weekly meetings that people aended from throughout the city. The people who came were sincere seekers, and I was happy that we could open our home to them.
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