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stands for “I” (the individual). This practice stopped my mind from intellectual analysis and let it rest in divinity. Here was a mooring place where I could be an unaffected witness to the passing of the transient and temporary.
I began meditating on Soham. Swami says that our breath is chanting this mantra all the time, 21,600 times a day, “Soham, Soham”—I am He, I am He. With inhalation, I breathed Swami in, and with exhalation I breathed myself out into Swami. With this practice, I sensed the “I” and the “He” were one.
This technique brought about concrete and enjoyable experiences for me. It also was a source of great peace, and I could, in this altered state of Soham, actually see the external world pass by while being acutely aware of its impermanence. I could also sense Swami’s presence in the vibration, thus giving it a loving quality.
Silencing the Mind
Quieting the mind can be challenging. When we are at the ashram and in the presence of Swami, we tend to feel very peaceful, though long silent siing brings thoughts to the surface. The stillness of silence can soon be filled with our own disturbing internal dialogue.
The mind’s nature is to desire outer objects and to be excited or frustrated in pursuing them. We then suffer from the six inner enemies and project our fears, angers, doubts, and sadness onto the outer world. There is a positive side to this predicament. When internal silence is broken by mental agitation, we have a chance to see aspects of our mind that disrupt peace. We have an opportunity to offer this source of suffering to Swami and release it to him. One way of detaching from mental conflict is to breathe it out into Swami and pray for its release. In this way we become empty and silent.
During a trip to Swami in August 1997, I spent a lot of time watching my busy mind. Swami was quite visible to all of us. He was with us in the large darshan area in front of the temple,
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