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Listening with Love
Listening with love means not to take the projected feelings from others personally. Being a detached observer in this way is hard to achieve but we must be ever vigilant to resist taking everything personally. Swami reminds us that all people are none other than God Himself, in the disguise of other people. Frequently people can irritate, frustrate, or aggravate us, thus showing us how our own emotions stand in the way of love. The therapist must recognize these reactions as a gi from God, shown so he can learn to not be affected by the projections of others. If the therapist has the capacity to remain a detached and loving witness through the emotional storms of the patient, then the patient gains confidence in his ability to detach as well.
Listening with Understanding
To be a good listener the therapist must be educated in his subject and have understanding and skill. Developing ourselves through education and experience is practical spirituality and is a key step. Given “The mind is a bundle of desires,” it is essential for the therapist to understand human development and the myriad human desires: physical, emotional, social, sensory, mental, and spiritual. He must also successfully practice his own sense control and ceiling on desires.
When the patient sees that the therapist listens with respect and compassion and asks the right questions (which shows understanding), then confidence and trust build and the patient develops the courage to communicate his distress.
First is good communication, Then understanding,
Then adjustment. (SSB)
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