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Speaking with Respect
Swami emphasizes the importance of speaking softly, sweetly, and with respect as part of the royal road to Atmic awareness. Respectful speech is the natural outcome of listening with love and is vital for both therapist and patient. Sometimes the full focus of therapy is on the significance of respectful speech.
I had a patient, Linda, who was very disturbed and who on first meeting used very foul language. I was surprised to see this lile lady spew out such dirty language and immediately stopped her. “The treatment cannot go on unless you speak with more respect,” I said. She tested me and began raling off a series of obnoxious words. Again, I stopped her and told her to clean up her language or the treatment could not proceed. “Who are you to tell me how to talk,” she said indignantly, “you’re not my mother!” I told her that I was not instructing her as a mother, but as a psychiatrist who knows that relationships cannot grow unless there is respectful and appropriate speaking. I told her that my insistence on the rule of right speaking was not frivolous; it grew out of my understanding about the basic and essential factors required for psychological and spiritual growth.
My patient grudgingly accepted this explanation and began to speak more civilly, and although she remained quite disturbed, started to develop trust in our relationship. About five months later I was surprised to hear her report this story.
She was shopping and met a mentally ill woman whom she had known for years. Linda had been a nurse and had treated this woman as a patient. Sensing the woman’s need, Linda felt protective and was surprised at her own strength. She then offered to take the mentally ill woman to her convalescent home.
When they arrived at the home it was medication time. The woman was unwilling to take her medicine and in a coarse
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