Page 32 - Zone Magazine Issue 017

Maintainingyourmentalhealth
Here at Zone we are very aware of Mental health and how, as an artist, DJ or performer, weather its a small or large gig, your state of mind is key. I have invited a Pychotherapist to write a regular section on Mental health and well-being, to move you along if you feel you need help. I myself have suffered in the past, and it has stopped me from DJ gigs, and meeting friends, dont wait till its on top of you, get some friendly help! Paul.
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t is difficult to speak openly about your mental health, however it can also be difficult to speak to
eone about their mental health. If you are worried about a friend, family member or colleague, those first opening words “are you ok?” can stay stuck in your throat, unless you just take the chance and ask. Questions run through your mind; “What if I upset them?”, “What if they get angry?”, “What if they think I am being nosey?”. All these “what ifs” can very easily turn into “should ofs”. Sure, they could get annoyed, angry, upset or shut off, but “what if” they need to feel all of those emotions and you are simply knocking on a door that they need to crack open?
This is easier said than done, and one of the biggest difficulties is not knowing what to say. You are not an expert in anyone else’s life, so don’t expect to know all of the answers. Be comfortable with not knowing what to say and don’t let the fear of saying the wrong thing hold you back.
Although you may not know the answers you can prepare yourself to support someone. Here are some Do’s, when speaking to someone about their mental health.
1. Timing
In life timing is everything. Although
you do not want your chat to come off as scripted choosing an appropriate time is everything. Choose a time where distractions are limited, and interruptions; zero.
2. Focus on Listening
We are all fixers at heart but solutions are not always the answer. The act of listening is powerful and simply sharing worries, thoughts and emotions with another will lessen the burden greatly. It also reduces pressure on you the listener as you do not need any answers or solutions.
3. Gather support
It can be a big responsibility to help carry another’s distresses. Explain to the person that you wish to share this with another for greater support. This may be a health professional, or another friend or family member. It can be anonymous if the person wishes but it ensures you have support also. As a therapist, I often get contacted by third parties who wish to gather more information on getting appointments, e.g price, availability etc. Please know that this is completely ok and common and gives the individual a further step towards getting help.
4. Respect limits
If the individual is not ready to open up. That is ok. They may even deny that there is anything wrong. Let them know that you are always ready to listen without judgement.
5. Be Honest
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If you are overwhelmed or do not know what to say. Tell them that you are feeling that way. Again, you are there to help in the way that YOU can, so don’t pile on unnecessary pressure.
6. Reassurance is Key
There is a massive difference between Sympathy and Empathy. Sympathy can leave the individual feeling pitied. By using phrases such as “poor you”. Empathy, however leaves the individual feeling understood and cared for. Tips for empathy would be phrases such as “That sounds difficult”, “I can only imagine how you are feeling”, “I understand” “I am listening”. While using empathy you may also use reassurance. Phrases such as “It is difficult now but it can pass”, “You can get through this” “I am here for you”.
7. Support comes in many forms
If talking about the issue is something you don’t feel comfortable with yet. Just be there. Let the person know in subtle terms that you are and will be there. Whether it is texts, phone calls, meeting for coffee or just hanging out. A friendly chat may be the thing they needed that day.
Remember it is better to reach out and be wrong that to not and regret. There is no right thing to say, and sitting in silence is ok. You are there and you care.
Words By Karen Holland
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“ When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words ” - Thema Davis