Page 129 - The Circle of Life

It must be serious enough to satisfy the law that the marriage became

untenable. Only then was there a legal reason to divorce. If not, the other
spouse may refuse flatly to grant a divorce which as you can imagine led to
many more tears as the husband may then move out to live in "sin" with the

other woman. Any children so born are illegitimate which had huge problems

with succession. Luckily that makes no difference anymore.

It was a system which did not work well for it subjected couples to stay married

long after they should have ended the marriage. I spoke to many hundreds of
divorcees during the last two decades and all of them agreed that they knew the

marriage was over at least 3 to 5 years before they made an end. For the sake
of the marriage and children they hang on much to their disadvantage.

Imagine all that wasted time and energy and added anguish! A good marriage is

wonderful but a bad one is really bad. Unless you were there you would not
understand what I mean. That story of staying together for the sake of the

children is absolute cr-p. There is no way you can hide your arguments and
dislike of each other from a child. They are not that dumb you know and have a

built in survival mode where they pick up signals from their parents. It is a
natural thing.

Every single phycologist I asked said to me it is more harmful to the children to
be in a rotten marriage than to be with a single loving parent after divorce. As

long as they are informed it is not their fault and never allowed to play the

parents against each other as they will do if you are not wide awake. We see
that all the time with teenagers and toddlers. In between are still ok. I say
again. If you want to ruin that child you need to fall for such tricks. They will try

their luck for it is human nature.

Under the fault system couples were tempted (and probably did) to lie in court
admitting to wrongdoings which never happened just to obtain a divorce. Thus

the Divorce Act made provision for a non-fault system here meaning that you
now don't need to show any wrong doing from either party. The law woke up to

the fact that people drift apart and the marriage becomes unbearable and people
move on. Under this act you just need to prove you were married legally and still

are legally married. And now the marriage broke down in such a way that it will

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